Author Topic: was followed by a car tonight  (Read 957 times)

Kapalika

was followed by a car tonight
« on: September 22, 2018, 02:58:07 am »
So as of yesterday my bike's rear wheel is busted so I walked as far as the last evening bus wouldn't take me after work. A white car with some kind of blue interior lighting drove by me yelling "fag" at me and then it later waited for me to come out of a store and went by again cursing "fucker" at me. I thought that was the end of it until I saw the same two men smoking go past me then park down the side street I turned off to, a third time. They didn't know where I was going so I easily cut across a very dark area to where they couldn't of seen where I went. And people wonder why it's so hard to be transgender in this town. Should I fucking call the police? Would they even take me seriously? Should I just get a gun in case it ever escalated to them getting out and trying to do something to me?


As a side note for those I don't know, I've been on estrogen for a least half a year and androgen blockers for a year and a half. It's not like I look like a dude dressing as a woman. Quite the contrary I look like a woman dressing androgynously (bar a denim purse).


Anyone have, in addition to mundane solutions, maybe some magical ones as well? Either increasing my ability to follow through with defending myself (if it comes to that) or averting the situation all together?
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 04:09:17 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

crossfire

Re: Was stalked by transphobes
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2018, 03:52:03 am »
If you don't have islamophobes in the area, you can try wearing a hijab/scarf.
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
~Carl Jung

Kapalika

Re:was followed by car tonight
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2018, 04:08:46 am »
People who hate trans people and who are afraid of Muslims kinda go hand in hand often. Yes, they are all around. I've heard people say really anti muslim things and people respond in agreement.


So not really an option. ANd fuck wearing an ugly scarf lol. I think I'll start with a sigil to reinforce my own awareness and judgement. Then try to not have to walk at night like that but I might have to until I can get the right replacement parts for either two of my bikes.

EDIT: im gonna report the incident to the police in the morning, ive been staying with someone the last 2 nights and didnt want to freak them out  by having the police come here.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 06:43:33 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Liu

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2018, 07:06:46 am »
Being from another country I can't really judge the situation.
But in any case, better safe than sorry; do everything you can to protect yourself.

So, yes, I'd suggest to follow through with pretty much all the ideas you had.
Except, is it legal for you to own a gun? If not I'd be careful about that part, but that's up to you.

Easier said than done, but try to not let that drag you down too much, or at least not too panic - best we can do is to enjoy our lives as much as we can, despite any circumstances

Kapalika

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2018, 08:52:09 am »
Except, is it legal for you to own a gun?

I live in America, it would not at all be hard in the least particularly for my state where the only way to loose your right is to be convicted of a felony (or at least certain ones) or domestic violence. I think a judge can declare you mentally incapable too but that's not typically gonna happen to anyone.

Also this is a stand your ground state (like most USA states) meaning I can use lethal force with no duty to retreat if faced with physical violence.

Satan bless the USA.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 09:00:10 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Liu

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2018, 09:55:10 am »
Except, is it legal for you to own a gun?

I live in America, it would not at all be hard in the least particularly for my state where the only way to loose your right is to be convicted of a felony (or at least certain ones) or domestic violence. I think a judge can declare you mentally incapable too but that's not typically gonna happen to anyone.

Also this is a stand your ground state (like most USA states) meaning I can use lethal force with no duty to retreat if faced with physical violence.

Satan bless the USA.
I guessed so.

Still prefer to live here with our much lower crime rate.
And glad that it's actually so low here considering our extremely strict self defense laws - if I ever would get attacked, chances are high that if I would do anything to defend myself I'd risk getting charged for that myself as well.

Don't want you to get into legal trouble on top of it all.

Also, in long-term perspective, have you thought about getting your name changed legally? (I think you mentioned once you haven't changed it yet). If no one knows that your trans, then no one can have a problem with you about it.

And again, so glad to not be living in the US - I don't tell everyone that I'm trans, only whoever has a reason to know, and by now I pass quite well I think, but well, one of the extremely few even slightly discriminatory things that happened to me so far was actually yesterday: A secretary addressing me with the equivalent of "Ms." in reply to a message in which I asked her how to get new certificates after my name change which will be legal in about a week, which I had signed with my new (clearly male) name (and in which I mentioned my currently still official name, so she can't have mistaken me for a transwoman). Yet her reply showed that she had never been asked that question before, and she was nice and told me whom to ask instead, so I won't hold that against her.
Just to show you how blessed we are here in comparison when something like this is the worst problem.

Well, in any case, best of luck to you!
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 09:59:50 am by Liu »

Kapalika

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2018, 10:18:18 am »
I'd have to wait until I've moved to California to change my name, since in my state I'm legally required to post my name change in the newspaper.


I didn't know the people though, I don't think. Part of me suspects they might of seen me use a women's restroom somewhere. Or maybe they just saw me caring a purse and assumed I had fake breasts or something when seeing me walk down the streets.


I plan to mention to the right people at work that I was followed after work in case that was a point of contact. A few hundred people work where I'm at. If it was someone from work I'd know from the car.
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Olive

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2018, 07:55:55 pm »
My condolences Kapalika - that sounds like an awful experience. My response would have been similar to yours, I think. I'm very quiet and I have a natural instinct that impels me to move in a way that makes me difficult to observe, and causes me to notice anyone who does happen to look at me meaningfully. I pretty much rely on this to pass through shady situations unimpeded.

If avoidance becomes impossible - I would recommend confronting the problem person very firmly, with a hard look in direct eye contact. Just don't cross the line into provocation. Or alternatively, whip out your phone and start recording them. Most people are basically cowards, and will lose their nerve quickly in these situations.

But I understand your concern that a time may come when none of this will be enough. I have also thought about this quite a bit, as the people in my area are also generally quite transphobic and well-armed. A gun is a possibility, but even just wearing a knife could be enough. You may be aware that in a physical confrontation, a gun typically only beats a knife if the conflict is initiated at distances of 21 feet or greater. If you become acquainted with the most damaging places to cut/stab a human being you will likely have a good chance in most situations.


Heres one source investigating the 21ft figure I mentioned:

https://youtu.be/Upxfo_jBrDE

And a police training video discussing the same topic:

https://youtu.be/js0haocH4-o
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 08:06:32 pm by Olive »
    Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven, and gazing on the earth,
     Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, -
And ever-changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?

-Percy Bysshe Shelley

pi_rameses

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2018, 10:01:06 pm »
 :angry: outrageous
"Some say Kos, others Kosm.
As you did for the vacuous Rom,
grant us eyes.
Grant us eyes."

-Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

morph8hprom

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2018, 02:06:11 pm »
That's absolutely terrible, but not surprising in the least.  Definitely carry some form of protection.  While I'm not an advocate for police, I would agree that contacting them might be in your best interest...though  I doubt they'll do much to help.  Extensions of the state aren't usually very sympathetic towards the plight of transwomen.

When I was presenting female I never really had much threats of violence, but I live in a fairly small town.  Please stay safe and crack some skulls if you have to  ;)

Mindmaster

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2018, 02:52:28 pm »
That's absolutely terrible, but not surprising in the least.  Definitely carry some form of protection.  While I'm not an advocate for police, I would agree that contacting them might be in your best interest...though  I doubt they'll do much to help.  Extensions of the state aren't usually very sympathetic towards the plight of transwomen.

When I was presenting female I never really had much threats of violence, but I live in a fairly small town.  Please stay safe and crack some skulls if you have to  ;)

The police only come to pick up bodies, if you're lucky they get there sooner. If you're anything that society deems as a freak be that transgender, left-hand pather, Satanist, or whatever you should be carrying a firearm. You have less than ten seconds to respond to an assailant and that doesn't give you time to call anyone, run, or do anything but whip out the hand cannon. Not that I advocate violence, as I am completely against it; the bad folks don't care about your principles. Just having it near means that the chance you are going to be victimized goes to nearly zero. You probably will never fire the thing in defense, but just being able to make a show of it is generally enough of a deterrent. If my memory serves me, you usually have less than ten seconds to respond to a threat and it takes someone who can actually shoot 7-8 rounds to end the conflict. Don't buy one of those five or six round revolvers... :D


Liu

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2018, 07:17:11 pm »
I'd have to wait until I've moved to California to change my name, since in my state I'm legally required to post my name change in the newspaper.
While I can see why someone would make such a law for non-discriminatory reasons (as long as it's also a requirement to announce surname changes in case of marriage), I very much understand why you don't want the name changed in that situation.
Best might be to change the name immediately before you move out of state. As long as it doesn't take long (here it takes roughly half a year). But I would guess in California people should be much more relaxed about that, so if you plan to move there anyway, waiting until you are there might be better actually.

Quote
I didn't know the people though, I don't think. Part of me suspects they might of seen me use a women's restroom somewhere. Or maybe they just saw me caring a purse and assumed I had fake breasts or something when seeing me walk down the streets.
Oh, so you use your old name at work? I thought you only have this job since recently, didn't your boss introduce you by your new name? I don't know how well you pass, but from the photos you posted, it should be possible.
Probably I'm expecting much too much from US-society...
Except for my direct co-workers and boss and the human resources department, basically no one at my place even knows I'm trans, they all just know me by my new name. I work there since ~half a year now, I am not sure whether I fully passed in the beginning (that was before mastectomy and growing a beard), and my name change isn't official yet.

MeliaWordsmith

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2018, 09:02:12 pm »
I would also suggest carrying a tactical pen. Not only are they good for self-defense, but they are good for collecting DNA.  They are small, so they can easily be hidden if an assailant approaches, but they hurt when used.

This is the one I have:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxeQqSEPJV8

Sutekh

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2018, 04:27:07 pm »
@Kapalika You are basically being stalked by them. In a situation like this I would carry a weapon around, buying a gun is a good idea including a knife. I am not implying a pocket knife but a knife basically a Bowie knife.

I would also try calling the cops in the situation that you are in.

(Interesting story I wanted to tell, speaking of weapons)- My dad had to fire our Massage guy because he started to get rusty of how he came to his clients. He expected us to pay our money upfront with him before he decided to proceed.

We have known him for a while, but my family decided to fire him since we noticed something off about him. We later suspected that he has a drug opioid problem. After we fired him and we later suspected his secretive drug addiction, my dad decided to carry a gun concealed just in case if he tried to enter himself in uninvited.

I also decided to put out my knife similar to a Bowie knife if he ever came over to our house trying to do something stupid. Turns out he was smart enough not to do anything fucked up. Good choice on his part.

(Back to what we were talking on this topic)- What I meant to say is that in any situation that you are in, whether it might turn unpredictable or a bad feeling that you might get, I would always pack up something. Because you'll never know the way the situation might escalate or turn out.

Another reason why my family had to fire our massage guy was the risk of possibly having our house robbed by relatives or people that are close to him, since he started spiraling downhill. Not only that, but our former massage mans nephew is a tweeker.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2018, 04:31:21 pm by Sutekh »
"Our collective ambition is that the membership of the Order of the Serpent also serves as guardians of the Black Flame and collaborates with the Prince of Darkness in the Infernal Mandate of re-creating the Cosmos in the eternal glory of the Setian Will!"-Setamontet

Deidre

Re: was followed by a car tonight
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2018, 06:43:51 pm »
Sorry you went through that and yea, call the police. You never know.
"Don't look for riches, look for rich experiences." - Lucian Black