Author Topic: idgo forgot its grimoire at home and is using this instead  (Read 5078 times)

idgo

Local Maxima
« Reply #75 on: January 14, 2020, 05:09:16 am »
There's a comic about mountains that my brain filed for future reference, but it was stored with lossy compression long ago and re-encoded many times since then.

Maybe it's this one (https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20130621.png). This (http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd012312s.gif) might have gotten munged into it along the way. Or this (https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/1508937349-20171025-fixed1.png)? This (http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/) is nearby, but not it. I think the first one comes closest to what I had recalled, though I entirely misplaced its plaintive tone. It was like a cross between the first and this (https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20111228.gif), and had some witty quip that I've entirely misplaced due to being struck by the overarching theme of getting to what looked initially like the top in order to see what else is out there.

It's the algorithm of climbing the nearest local maximum in order to spot a better one. And I've been pacing around such a peak, and every time I pass a certain side I spot a behemoth of a next summit in the middle distance. And I've nigh-accidentally bumped into a trail that seems to be going the right way.

I'll likely need to step down into a certain amount of woo-woo bullshit before arising back out of it again. Some, even much, of the work might need to be done from some guises that look deeply incompatible with the relatively consistent-ish aspect of myself that I show here. In other words, I think I'm going to go do some things that are entirely explainable from this perspective, but to explain them while they're in progress would force me to touch them in fragile unformed places that stunt them -- you can slip an acupuncture needle into a child without doing any lasting damage, but to poke that same needle into the embryo would likely render it non-viable.

And there, I've answered my own question about Secrecy.

And a thing is just itself, regardless of what I name it, yet the naming somehow changes how it works for me or how I work with it -- and grabbing it by both aspects breaks both corners, even if it also spreads the load. A phenomenon or an observation is still itself, regardless of whether I name it as a portent or a pattern-match or nothing at all.

Perhaps I even might step far enough away to spot idiocies in my present systems that are invisible to me from here.

I, as I, am not really going anywhere -- Idgo is a lens, a filter, an aperture through which certain patterns of others' and my own take the opportunity to play with others'. Some of that filtering is pure common sense, insulation between the lightning of an electrical network and my squishy human body and the ground. Other filters are a lens of consistency; an insistence on only presenting a mutually exclusive viewpoint set if they're couched in safe packaging of excuses. The filters of consistency, placed out of habit, ultimately serve to build a certain credibility which reaps thought and answers in conversation and even a certain modicum of power to gently prod at others' beliefs and ideas.

It just feels like the ending of a book, right now. Have you ever read an excellent novel -- I find it happens particularly commonly in Stross -- where it feels like there's a satisfying conclusion to the story with all the loose ends that had been itching at you all sewn back in? And then you (or at least I) turn what I think was the last page, or feel the novel in my hands, and there's still a quarter inch or so of something else that the author ended up putting after the bits of the story that I wanted from it were finished. This feels like one of those endings, to me -- a local minimum of cliff-hanginess? (Certainly there are also the books, also often Stross, where the story feels truncated before its time when the pages run out... those are like an unexpected death).

I'll likely continue this here -- it's a nice place to write, and to argue, and to prod, and all -- but I just find it interesting to note that the arc-completion bit is happening in a way that's visible to me in its progress rather than only in retrospect, as arcs of my life and various accounts have been before. Can't tell if that's a lasting change or just a temporary one.

I think all that is just to say, it's an intentional set of experiments that are making me more likely than usual to sound particularly non-LHP, not that I've necessarily been all that LHP to begin with. I haven't necessarily ever been deeply into the handednesses, regarding both as mildly distasteful curatives against various brainwashings and dogmas. But LHP folks (at least those who stick with this particular forum) seem to more reliably display what I see as a certain capacity for independent thought, as it's generally prerequisite to joining a path that almost nobody is born into, so I appreciate the cameraderie as we all make our own strange attempts at getting where we think we want to be.

Hapu

Re: Local Maxima
« Reply #76 on: January 14, 2020, 10:28:19 am »
It just feels like the ending of a book, right now. Have you ever read an excellent novel -- I find it happens particularly commonly in Stross -- where it feels like there's a satisfying conclusion to the story with all the loose ends that had been itching at you all sewn back in? And then you (or at least I) turn what I think was the last page, or feel the novel in my hands, and there's still a quarter inch or so of something else that the author ended up putting after the bits of the story that I wanted from it were finished.

I wonder if old age might sometimes feel like that.


I think all that is just to say, it's an intentional set of experiments that are making me more likely than usual to sound particularly non-LHP, not that I've necessarily been all that LHP to begin with. I haven't necessarily ever been deeply into the handednesses, regarding both as mildly distasteful curatives against various brainwashings and dogmas. But LHP folks (at least those who stick with this particular forum) seem to more reliably display what I see as a certain capacity for independent thought, as it's generally prerequisite to joining a path that almost nobody is born into, so I appreciate the cameraderie as we all make our own strange attempts at getting where we think we want to be.

I-am-my-own-God can sound overly grandiose a lot of the time, but I-am-my-own-Pope is always accurate for the non-poseur LH practitioner.

idgo

Re: Local Maxima
« Reply #77 on: January 14, 2020, 06:37:14 pm »
I wonder if old age might sometimes feel like that.

I had a grandfather who aged like that -- he left without unfinished business. But that's more from skill at aging -- in growth, the culmination of a project is impetus to start a larger one, but after a certain point, finishing one piece of business can be a recommendation to start a less-lengthy (though perhaps not lower-quality) one. I think youth has a certain urgency of "I must do this because no-one else can", but when you're ninety-something and surrounded by aging children and adult grandchildren and little great-grandchildren, each generation of which has an individual or two who show that your own special aptitudes have been passed along, I think the fear that comes with being the only one who could might have been whittled away to nothing by the decades of counter-examples.

Quote
I-am-my-own-God can sound overly grandiose a lot of the time, but I-am-my-own-Pope is always accurate for the non-poseur LH practitioner.

"Every man, woman, and child is a pope".

I think I might prefer the times when "child" was its own gender.

idgo

Re: idgo forgot its grimoire at home and is using this instead
« Reply #78 on: January 14, 2020, 06:43:03 pm »
Back to journal things, though: I think I've figured out how to draw the sort of growth/learning thing as I imagine it.

As with any search/exploration, it tends to revisit approximate regions it's been to before, but upon each visit it hits parts of those spaces from a direction that wouldn't have been feasible without leaving them. In this image, the thing I was trying to describe yesterday is akin to noticing the color changing.

Also, I wonder if there's a better convention for inter-journal conversations than reply within the same thread. I wonder whether taking the whole quote block from the journal entry to be replied to, and pasting it into one's own journal, and writing the thoughts or reply there, would yield a more or less readable and useful thread both among ourselves and for future readers.

idgo

Re: idgo forgot its grimoire at home and is using this instead
« Reply #79 on: January 23, 2020, 12:39:44 am »
I had a dream recently in which someone had tried to fashion a bow from 3 sticks attached together with rubber bands. One curved stick for the bow proper, 2 straight sticks fastened in the middle pretending to be the string. They were wondering why it wouldn't shoot as well as the bows that looked just like it that they'd seen in movies and cartoons... I think it's a take on the "solid bow, stretchy bowstring" trope.

I think there's something useful underneath that trope, around here somewhere. Something about how certain communications about a topic can accidentally omit facts that would be essential for a beginner to reconstruct the topic from first principles, because those facts seemed just too obvious to be worth mentioning. Or perhaps how things that look like sources of power, like bowstrings, are sometimes just conduits of force from elsewhere.