Author Topic: over reliance on magic  (Read 263 times)

Kapalika

over reliance on magic
« on: June 29, 2020, 01:40:43 pm »
So 8 days ago I carved a pentagram with the word "Satan" around the points into my forearm. It's healed to the point that I can barely see any lines anymore, but I energetically feel the aftershocks of it still. I did it really drunk and wasn't totally sure what I was gonna do I just felt devotional, but I vaguely charged it towards better financial success.

Yet something about it just, well it's been a long time since I did good blood magic and I had a nightmare where a sigil was cut into my neck, and it spread to my left shoulder and eventually down my left arm and my flesh peeled off and I had dry crusty open wounds and it was like the blood magic and the use of my flesh as a tool so to speak was out of control and the magic was consuming me and my path since it was inching down towards the Left Hand. I am scared of over-relying on magic and yet, I sense I am untapping at something I know can help me (not necessarily blood magic but using potent magic in general).

How do you balance use of magic with over-reliance? Is there anything that would ever take it too far for you and be unhealthy?

EDIT: if you wanna see, blood of course: https://kapalika.com/wp-content/uploads/20200621_0308091-768x1024.jpg
« Last Edit: June 29, 2020, 01:42:40 pm by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

idgo

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2020, 06:20:35 pm »
Where I personally draw that line is between initiating vs maintaining changes. Kinda like with drugs, really -- chemically enhanced insight is great, but then you gotta take it back to improve your everyday life.

"initiating a change" can mean anything from figuring out how to make a big decision to a single attempt to overwrite a bad habit from the brain, but the stuff I'm fine with using magic for are fundamentally one-offs. They're instances where I force an improbable thing to happen once, and get into the timeline where that improbable thing has already happened, and causality takes it from there.

What I'm wary of using magic for are ongoing things that couldn't happen without it. Overriding causality every single day, in order to make something continue happening, is not sustainable. If I leave reality set up such that the things I want stay improbable after I've used "magic", then I've used it wrong.

For instance, money is a popular topic on this forum.

A magical working for money that I'd consider a good idea by my standards would be around qualifying for a higher-paid job, whether that's by rewriring my brain to take more enjoyment of getting work done, or by pushing out a single huge batch of applications, or by setting up some background system of recognizing obscure patterns to make me aware of when it's a particularly opportune time for a change. Basically a working that puts reality into a state with a near-100% chance that I'll get a big paycheck every payday.

By contrast, a working for money that I'd consider a bad idea by my standards would be trying to get a surprise windfall every week to make rent while not even working. Sure, it might work the first time or three, but the inertia of causality doesn't want it to continue to work. And the more you *rely* on magic working, the worse entangled you get into the trap that some call Lust For Result, and the harder it gets to not meddle in ways that make it work worse.

Basically, if you choose to view things through the lens of Probability, the sustainable workings are the ones that make the goal state likely or inevitable. The ineffective workings which just waste energy and effort are those which don't change the likelihood of the world staying the way you want it.

Also, because we're here, I must point out that a mindset from which it seems like doing devotional acts toward a power outside yourself will make everything better gets extremely close to what we tend to call RHP around here. I know delegation is important and all, but be careful not to give up the kind of control that you need and that's hard to get back.

Liu

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2020, 07:42:05 pm »
So 8 days ago I carved a pentagram with the word "Satan" around the points into my forearm. It's healed to the point that I can barely see any lines anymore, but I energetically feel the aftershocks of it still. I did it really drunk and wasn't totally sure what I was gonna do I just felt devotional, but I vaguely charged it towards better financial success.

Can quite relate to that - never did any blood magick (beyond period blood when I still got that), but I used to draw a pentagram with a pencil onto my hand all the time and feel the energy of it.

Where I personally draw that line is between initiating vs maintaining changes. Kinda like with drugs, really -- chemically enhanced insight is great, but then you gotta take it back to improve your everyday life.

"initiating a change" can mean anything from figuring out how to make a big decision to a single attempt to overwrite a bad habit from the brain, but the stuff I'm fine with using magic for are fundamentally one-offs. They're instances where I force an improbable thing to happen once, and get into the timeline where that improbable thing has already happened, and causality takes it from there.

Huh, now that's some food for thought.
My approach to magick is quite different, but it may have to do what we refer to as magick.

I don't do any big workings, I have trouble to get into a mindset for such.
Not only would I get huge doubts about whether it'll work. For any big wish that I might consider a good idea if it were fulfilled I would also get doubts whether it'd really be to my benefit.
(General tendency of mine, I also tend to think twice or trice (or ten times) before making any unusual purchase due to being skeptical of whether I won't regret it.)
So delegating matters to a notion of "what's best for myself in the long run" is usually what I end up doing. Which also fits nicely into my devotional mindset. If that's RHP then so be it. Not sure what control you are talking about that this would entail giving up, could you give an example?

The magick I instead use usually is rather about putting intentionality into everyday stuff. Infusing some healthy food with "healing energy" or sending "healing energy" to an ailment of mine in order to both utilize the powers of placebo and fight health-related anxiety. Writing down tasks in a slightly ritualized manner in order to make them easier to accomplish.

So I very much focus on the psychologically explainable end of magick, on the things that many people wouldn't even call magick, as that's what works for me.

I might become dependent on it, yet that's rather like some people are dependent on intentional positive thinking in order to not drown in a depressive episode, or like a cook is dependent on having a good knife for cooking.
And it doesn't really feel like I'm just treading water, like in your money-magick example, but like it's causing slow but perceivable change to the better.

idgo

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2020, 10:27:45 pm »
Devotion is unquestionably useful in its place. I brought it up only to point out that the devotion-of-desparation, "help, somebody bigger than me please come fix this because I can't" mindset sounds like it may be near where Kapalika is at right now, and it's a bit of a Hotel California of a mindset once you check into it very deeply.

One of my favorite uses of devotion is to build it up pointing at someone or something I believe to be better than myself, then once I'm ready, breaking that illusion of its superiority and pointing all the dangling references left around my head to refer to myself instead.

I think it's worth differentiating between depending on the continued effects of a single cause, vs depending on continued new causes. Some of my everyday practices might be described as magical by an observer, but they're habits that don't cost me a new exertion of effort to continue once they're in place, so I don't regard them as being new workings in any meaningful sense. Choosing to establish such a habit is absolutely a new working, though -- it's quite costly in time, energy, thought, etc. To me, a "big working" usually revolves around identifying and clarifying a particular goal and then evaluating all my habits and amending them to increase the probability of the goal being attained. Then again, I find major changes to feel more like a subtractive process than an additive one, so the closer I get to having the world around me exactly how I want it, the less often I find it appropriate to make high-risk/high-reward modifications.


Liu

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2020, 06:23:35 pm »
One of my favorite uses of devotion is to build it up pointing at someone or something I believe to be better than myself, then once I'm ready, breaking that illusion of its superiority and pointing all the dangling references left around my head to refer to myself instead.

With the proper theology you don't necessarily have to cut the ties in order to have the references additionally also point to yourself.


Quote
I think it's worth differentiating between depending on the continued effects of a single cause, vs depending on continued new causes. Some of my everyday practices might be described as magical by an observer, but they're habits that don't cost me a new exertion of effort to continue once they're in place, so I don't regard them as being new workings in any meaningful sense. Choosing to establish such a habit is absolutely a new working, though -- it's quite costly in time, energy, thought, etc. To me, a "big working" usually revolves around identifying and clarifying a particular goal and then evaluating all my habits and amending them to increase the probability of the goal being attained. Then again, I find major changes to feel more like a subtractive process than an additive one, so the closer I get to having the world around me exactly how I want it, the less often I find it appropriate to make high-risk/high-reward modifications.

I more often encounter the problem of a (more or less established) habit taking up too much energy. In that case it usually either just fades out of usage or I do some general spring cleaning of habits and then slowly add in again new ones. It doesn't feel like big workings to me, I actually rather tend to feel energized from these kinds of workings as it gives me a clearer idea of current goals and how to get to them.

But I have a ritualized way of establishing new habits, so basically an established, albeit partially irregular, habit for it.

Been starting to read Tiny Habits a bit ago and discussing the approach, which gave me some ideas to further refine that process.

Sure it doesn't always go smoothly, and sometimes I have to try a couple strategies before finding a set of habits that works. And before each major change there is a phase of partially subconscious struggling to figure out how to go about things.

Kapalika

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2020, 10:06:44 am »
All the magic. All the demons.
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Jastiv

Re: over reliance on magic
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2020, 02:15:59 am »
I've found in near impossible to "make myself like" something, okay, I haven't accomplished that, and I've had some tremendous push back every time i have ever tried.  I used think it was just because I was fundamentally defective.
Anyway, I guess for someone like me, the key is to focus on the goal and not give them up no matter how ridiculous or impossible they sound to other people, if one gets my meaning.  Then, keep preforming greater black magic while taking mundane steps towards the goals accomplishment. 
As far as habits are concerned, if they aren't fun then I can't make them stick, I have to want to get up everyday and do them, else, its just going to be like hell, and sooner or later I will burn out.