Author Topic: was ready to kill someone tonight  (Read 314 times)

Kapalika

was ready to kill someone tonight
« on: February 08, 2020, 08:22:49 am »
So I've been couch surfing for the last few months. The last 5 weeks I was staying with the sibling of one of the people I had stayed with before. It's went pretty well so far and I'm just a few days from moving into a place I'd have an actual lease as there's just a couple things left to process for it. My host is a recovering addict that's been clean for a good while, and mostly has her stuff together but unfortunately has had a questionable old friend come around this last week or so (though after this they are no longer friends thankfully).

The friend is a 26 year old woman that is still very much an addict but claiming she wants to quit and having went to a narcotics anonymous meeting even. Well tonight she got dropped off by some junkie friends and started pounding on the door for forever (my host was asleep and I ignored it because I hate her). When my host let her in she asked my host for ketamine which my host was taking tiny amounts for for getting off of her methadone medication, which the friend ostensibly asked for so she could use it to ease going cold turkey herself on satan knows what. Not long after, my host learns of her friend having been dropped off by junkie friends and turns out the friend's abusive ex boyfriend was outside their gate, having been told where she was by the people who dropped her off.

My host goes out with a big kitchen knife and I know shit is going down. I happens to have a CO^2 powered air gun with a FPS high enough that it can potentially kill at close range to the face and eyes, so I quickly popped in a fresh CO^2 and had a hammer ready as backup. I couldn't possibly bring myself to lock my host out if it went down that bad, simply out of principle, and i hear it get bad and thankfully it's her who later comes back.

Turns out she almost lost the knife to the ex boyfriend and got hit and managed to lock the gate. She later goes out again (why I have no fucking clue other than to threaten the cops on them) and it's getting serious enough that I'm afraid they will get around the gate somehow and I swore to myself that if anyone else but her came back I would fire all my shots into whoever's face and eyes then use the hammer to finish the job if that didn't at least disable them. The whole ordeal went on for the better part of an hour.

Eventually the Sheriff came and went looking for them, but while they were the fuckers were sending death threats and threatening to slash my host's tires and at this point I'm just trying to figure out how to leave because there was only really one way in and out of the house. I eventually went through the back gate when I knew they were over at the front gate.

Stuff in life bothers me, but very little truly scares me. I was scared not of the possibility of killing anyone, but with the fact that self defense might not be bought of I maimed or killed someone and that the cops might think it was an actual firearm and that I was dangerous (this county has the literal worst in the country in terms of police shootings), or me or my host being seriously maimed or killed. I didn't know who these people were or what they were capable of.

Meanwhile the friend is acting all like it's a joke or no big deal and making the situation worse, and was apparently high on gods know what. After I left I messaged my host and she told me she locked her friend out that she couldn't risk them ruining her life. Right now I'm in a motel because fuck going back, and just processing the realization that ya, I came pretty damn close to killing someone today, and that doesn't bother me one bit.

I was already considering getting my conceal and carry permit. Looks like I need to go pistol shopping at some point soon, because I'm not going to risk trying my luck again with a hammer and something not actually designed to kill that I only had for fun.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2020, 08:51:55 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Liu

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2020, 08:56:50 am »
You're getting into pretty bad neighborhoods aren't you?

Glad to hear you're fine and that you're gonna have your own rented apartment soon.

Be careful - self-defense law tends to be tricky. I don't know how it works in the US, but here I heard of someone trying to stop a thief by making them stumble, which made the thief fall down the stairs, and the judge didn't count it as self-defense and they had to pay the thief compensation because there would have been other ways to stop the thief.
So I'm pretty glad that I never got into any such situation.

Still better to land in jail for defending oneself than to be killed (by cop or by anyone else), though.

And I guess it's good for you that you had that experience now so you can start processing how you reacted without anyone having got seriously hurt, so if you ever get into the situation where you have to defend yourself you are at least mentally better prepared than otherwise.

Kapalika

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2020, 09:09:33 am »
I've lived in two worse neighborhoods in this town before without ever having much issue (the worst was a stolen pizza and loud music), and been to the absolute worst only being nervous around the gang members in a building full of busted out windows (I was checking out a rental in a craigslist ad a few hundred feet before tehre, didn't take it was too deep in the bad area). The next door neighbors are meth dealers, and I don't like the foot traffic around there due to that, but in the end other than that no issues where I've been the last 5 weeks. What happened here was more that the bullshit came directly to us. You are okay if you keep to yourself in a lot of bad areas.


I warned my host that her friend was gonna drag her down and I was right, but thankfully she locked her out and is done with her. I'm going back tomorrow, I just need to wait out till I move.


Self defense laws are tricky ya but as you said I'd rather fight a court than a psycho. The main thing I learned from this, protection wise, is always have a second exit. There was only the front door and that is what messed with me the most since if they got in the gate we would all be screwed as even the back gate was still through the patio. That trapped feeling is what I think scared me about the situation, being backed into a corner. Even if retreat wasn't my first choice, it should still be an option.


Funny enough my partner got me a protective charm (some kind of stone) just a couple of days prior. Turned out it was in my pocket, I had forgotten about it from the day before.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2020, 09:22:14 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Liu

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2020, 09:28:35 am »
I've lived in two worse neighborhoods in this town before without ever having much issue (the worst was a stolen pizza and loud music), and been to the absolute worst only being nervous around the gang members in a building full of busted out windows (I was checking out a rental in a craigslist ad a few hundred feet before tehre, didn't take it was too deep in the bad area). The next door neighbors are meth dealers, and I don't like the foot traffic around there due to that, but in the end other than the one place I checked out I wouldn't ever have much issues if you keep your wits. What happened here was more that the bullshit came directly to us.

I warned my host that her friend was gonna drag her down and I was right, but thankfully she locked her out and is done with her. I'm going back tomorrow, I just need to wait out till I move.
True, if you describe it as that I see your point. Guess that host of yours learnt her lesson.

Quote
Self defense laws are tricky ya but as you said I'd rather fight a court than a psycho. The main thing I learned from this, protection wise, is always have a second exit. There was only the front door and that is what messed with me the most since if they got in the gate we would all be screwed as even the back gate was still through the patio. That trapped feeling is what I think scared me about the situation, being backed into a corner. Even if retreat wasn't my first choice, it should still be an option.

Huh, now that's something I never thought about when looking for apartments. With one exception, I can't recall any place I stayed in that had a back-exit that actually lead to the opposite direction of the front-exit.

Quote
Funny enough my partner got me a protective charm (some kind of stone) just a couple of days prior. Turned out it was in my pocket, I had forgotten about it from the day before.
Seems it worked ^^

Kapalika

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2020, 07:55:25 am »
Good news, I hope in the long run anyway (as the the landlord seems a little particular about certain things) but I moved into my new place today, so thankfully crazy stuff like that is behind me!
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Mindmaster

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2020, 07:41:55 pm »
You're getting into pretty bad neighborhoods aren't you?

Glad to hear you're fine and that you're gonna have your own rented apartment soon.

Be careful - self-defense law tends to be tricky. I don't know how it works in the US, but here I heard of someone trying to stop a thief by making them stumble, which made the thief fall down the stairs, and the judge didn't count it as self-defense and they had to pay the thief compensation because there would have been other ways to stop the thief.
So I'm pretty glad that I never got into any such situation.


The most important things to know are whether your state has a duty to retreat law. That's to say it will not be counted as self-defense if you can run away. Secondly, understand your states "castle" law.  But, generally, all violence is acceptable if your are intruded upon in your residence -- but, not just if they're in your yard. _Inside the walls_ This means even if someone is shooting outside, but not at you, you don't have a right to stop them. In most states, you can protect yourself regardless of location with no limitation if you are personally being assaulted. Castle requires no act of violence upon you -- they literally just have to enter your domicile in most states. Some states allow you to protect innocents and stop crimes in progress regardless of whether "duty" or "castle" would apply. My home state is one of those, but you have to be sure or your interference in someone's scuffle gets you arrested.

Even with these cases of immunity except in the case of where castle law applies nothing stops a perpetrators family from bringing a wrongful death suit to court with your name on it. (Obama actually "exempted" the castle situation from these types of suits, and most states adopted them into law the following year... But, you have to check... Not all have done so.)

My rule with personal defense is simple -- if it's not critical enough that I'd be willing to sit in jail for it then bugging out is my primary answer. However, if it's my friends and family that are threatened and harm would come to them I wouldn't even think twice about introducing the offender to my brass-assed little friends. The reason I own firearms isn't because I'm Billy-Badass or something, but because I know most altercations aren't 1v1. And, they tend to go down when you're distracted, sick, tired, and so on. It's just an insurance policy -- I don't know about them, but _I_ am getting out of it,  lol.

« Last Edit: February 10, 2020, 07:50:04 pm by Mindmaster »

Liu

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2020, 07:53:56 pm »
The most important things to know are whether your state has a duty to retreat law. That's to say it will not be counted as self-defense if you can run away. Secondly, understand your states "castle" law.  But, generally, all violence is acceptable if your are intruded upon in your residence -- but, not just if they're in your yard. _Inside the walls_ This means even if someone is shooting outside, but not at you, you don't have a right to stop them. In most states, you can protect yourself regardless of location with no limitation if you are personally being assaulted. Castle requires no act of violence upon you -- they literally just have to enter your domicile in most states. Some states allow you to protect innocents and stop crimes in progress regardless of whether "duty" or "castle" would apply. My home state is one of those, but you have to be sure or your interference in someone's scuffle gets you arrested.

Even with these cases of immunity except in the case of where castle law applies nothing stops a perpetrators family from bringing a wrongful death suit to court with your name on it. (Obama actually "exempted" the castle situation from these types of suits, and most states adopted them into law the following year... But, you have to check... Not all have done so.)
Well that anecdote happened in the house of the one trying to stop that thief. And at least by the summary of German self-defence law as provided on Wikipedia, one is allowed to try and stop a thief, wherever one is, as one is always allowed to try and stop a crime - but it then still is up to the court to decide whether one chose the right means to do so, and in that case the judge decided otherwise.

But as I said, y'all are in the US, so things are not necessarily the same.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2020, 07:55:29 pm by Liu »

Mindmaster

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2020, 08:37:30 pm »
Well that anecdote happened in the house of the one trying to stop that thief. And at least by the summary of German self-defence law as provided on Wikipedia, one is allowed to try and stop a thief, wherever one is, as one is always allowed to try and stop a crime - but it then still is up to the court to decide whether one chose the right means to do so, and in that case the judge decided otherwise.

But as I said, y'all are in the US, so things are not necessarily the same.

Well, in the USA, you don't have to be a thief to get shot. You just have to be there without permission -- which makes you guilty of breaking and entering, trespassing, and exposed to any number of castle laws that come into play. Even in duty to retreat states, you usually have no duty to retreat in your home. In most states, you don't have to be endangering the occupants just the structure for force to be used. If someone throws a brick through your windows and then climbs in you don't know if they're there to rape you, murder you, or steal something. If the criminal surrenders immediately upon you seeing the weapon though, you will have a hard case for "defense", and it's probably better if you just call the police at that point. But, it's all contextual anyway -- it'd be hard to make the case that you were in danger when you shot the criminal in the back of the head, etc. :D As a rule, you have the right to demand compliance with the firearm and call the police regardless and you have the right to fire that weapon if necessary. The key of course is the "necessary bit" -- if they high tail out your front door it's hard to say it was necessary to shoot them. Personally, "necessary" is the criteria I go by. If they're running away I'm not in danger so there is no need to fire -- that's a call the police and let them get 'em situation.

Kapalika

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2020, 08:42:12 pm »
Sadly too you can be perfectly within Stand Your Ground in your state but get a judge who throws it out anyway and you go to court, after spending months in jail:

https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/brittany-smith-loses-her-stand-your-ground-hearing


If you are a woman, your chances of getting a Stand your Ground decision are much lower, so I would advise most women only do it as a last resort. She did, and I hope she gets acquitted. That and there are less protections for me living where I do than even her, I wasn't willing to take that risk and ruin my life further by spending even a few months in jail because I only had a grand to my name and no way that was going to make bail for a murder charge.
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo

Mindmaster

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2020, 10:36:10 pm »
Sadly too you can be perfectly within Stand Your Ground in your state but get a judge who throws it out anyway and you go to court, after spending months in jail:

https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/brittany-smith-loses-her-stand-your-ground-hearing


If you are a woman, your chances of getting a Stand your Ground decision are much lower, so I would advise most women only do it as a last resort. She did, and I hope she gets acquitted. That and there are less protections for me living where I do than even her, I wasn't willing to take that risk and ruin my life further by spending even a few months in jail because I only had a grand to my name and no way that was going to make bail for a murder charge.

Yeah, my opinion is never use force unless you are ready to sit in a cell. But, while you can get out of jail you will never get back up out of a grave. The legal system is complex, but I think that's the measure one should use. If you have no alternative that's the right time for deadly force, but if you do take the other option.

Stand your ground doesn't supersede castle laws and basic laws that apply to self-defense though and rarely is it ever evoked where there is a clear danger and the victim is trying to end the conflict. If someone comes at you with a weapon stand your ground doesn't really apply in most cases -- it was mostly in the cases where it was sort of difficult to determine.

This particular case is an outlier though and a really bad example of what normally happens. In most states, the evidence of wounding on either victim would be valid enough reason for a weapon to be drawn, especially in one's home. Though the proper procedure is to demand the assailant to cease whatever they were doing and if they do not then firing is likely fine. You have a right not to be "roughed up" or "choked", and a right to prevent someone from being beat or choked in your presence. If the state's argument that the attacker who is methed out can only be met with appropriate force they are making the argument that you should have bashed his head in with a baseball bat rather than fire the gun. Obviously, this won't stand very well in an appeal process in most states, especially considering that it's unlikely that woman even WITH an improvised weapon could do significant enough damage to end the attack. But, even if she was successful with the baseball bat then she'd still be getting murder one for smashing his brains in with a bat. Anyway, I think the real problem in this case is either. A) She's lying, or B) she has a terrible attorney. She's apparently having a hard time convincing them she was raped, but I think it's crazy that the only evidence the court will accept is that the assailant busts, lol. It's nonsensical that a woman has to let a man finish raping her so she can prove the rape.

« Last Edit: February 18, 2020, 06:00:20 am by Mindmaster »

Kapalika

Re: was ready to kill someone tonight
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2020, 03:36:09 am »
The article details the overwhelming evidence in her favor. It seems it's more the judge than her lawyer. This case being in Alabama they don't exactly take women seriously there.

I guess for me I always thought I would be hesitant, but in a way I was but not when the reality got a little closer. I think as a Satanist I would like to think I'm tough and prepared for anything but the conflict in me was that I am not prepared for jail, I would *not* do well in jail, but that might be true of anyone LHP as we wouldn't fit in well with the group mentality at such a place that's needed to survive.

I also always imagined that killing a human would regardless of the circumstances be a traumatic event for me, but brushing with it, I don't think the killing itself or the physical aftermath would be it (as surreal and unsettling I often find real gore) but rather the crap law enforcement and other people would put me through even if I was in my rights and protecting myself. The police department here is a shoot first ask questions later kind of place, highest police shooting rate in the country. It's a real possibility that if someone shot someone in self defense and called the police to report it, the cops would hear "I shot someone" only and come in guns blazing. A lot of people accused of violent crimes in this town never made it to court, and the FBI has been investigating the local PD here for corruption.

Hell last year I personally met one of the officers that were part of a high profile drug ring that got busted (Logan August I believe, said he found Jesus and turned himself in, I posted about it here a year ago, it was he story about the bible study at star bucks that popped up around me). Last I heard while the feds let him off the state was still after him.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 03:40:33 am by Kapalika »
https://kapalika.com

My religion is Satanism & Kashmir Shaivism via Vāmācāra

"We have none but evidence for the prosecution [against Satan] and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English. It is un-American; it is French." ... "We may not pay him reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents." - Mark Twain
"God and the individual are one. To realize this is the essence of Shaivism." - Swami Lakshmanjoo