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Messages - Km Anu

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Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: May 19, 2020, 08:43:14 am »
Proud of myself.

I know the runes very well now.

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Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: May 07, 2020, 01:45:38 pm »
You're contributing to an important task there in any case.
Difficult to distinguish between people having illusions and genuine experiences, and in either case those can be beneficial or harmful, but just telling people they are delusional isn't going to help.

Even with physical ailments, they are much easier to deal with if you take a positive attitude towards them. If a doctor tells you you're fine or that it's nothing serious at least (or if you manage to convince yourself of that on your own), they might disappear on their own accord much faster than if you keep worrying. But telling someone they are sick (be it physically or neurologically) and that they can't do anything about it (not even in how to deal with it) just makes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But yeah, don't make yourself sick trying to help.

Thanks for that, and I agree. The power of suggestion is strong. It's funny, I don't get compassion fatigue, ?I just get.... I don't know. Irritated with the system. I love the patients though. If I ever got rich, I'd probably still do work like this for free.

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Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: May 07, 2020, 05:56:59 am »
Its my Friday  :thumbsup:


I needed to say this to someone. I have another client with immense occult wisdom (or beliefs) that are being documented as delusions of grandeur.


He thinks he interacted with a few religious figures in his life. It just seems like agency. He knows things, and needs a way to explain them. Whatever. I think its more strange to consider yourself chosen by god (as Jesus's follower) to bring about a happy apocalypse or that by doing no harm you'll go to another dimension after you pass (Zen). These fucking sheeple can't be bothered to just listen to a person and set their bias aside before muddying the chart that the doctor uses to diagnose them with a mental illness......forever....with a bs symptom because they don't understand. They never tried to understand. No one does.


If I had the means I would become a doctor and open a practice. I would specialize in re-evaluating those thrown aside, hidden in facilities and homeless shelters, and I would help them reclaim their societal role before they came into being. In nature, these people are fine. NT's can't fathom that there are different ways to interpret the world, and that those differences aren't permanent illnesses. You can't call an inability (Or refusal in some cases) to conform to societal norms a permanent illness. You can't treat psychological behaviors by altering neurology with medicine. Sure you can force the body to reduce activities in areas of the brain, but it should only enable them to make further adjustments themselves. And if they don't want to, LEAVE THEM ALONE.


"But Kehm, then they'll hurt people," Guess what, they already do. They go to a secure treatment facility (T-10), are evaluated for "competency" to stand trial, 80% are deemed incompetent, and then they're "Treated until they are deemed competent to stand trial." Which means that (in practice, by direct observation) They get the charges dropped when their un-curable illness isn't cured. Usually, the problems are behavioral. We aren't slaves to neuropsych, We're adaptive beings that need actual experiences to bring about change. Identifying dude-that-talked-to-me-about-aeonics-and-integrated-learning-through-spiritualism (very pleasant conversationalist by the way. Guy is super erudite) a note that states his beliefs are delusions of grandeur absolutely damages his treatment and gives our doctors justification to seek court ordered commitment. And there isn't anything to be done! No one to tell! Or if there is, IDK who.


Working here is a mixed blessing. These are the people I get to interact with. I can try and make a difference in their lives. I can make them feel valued and heard in an oppressive environment. But the sacrifice, the presence of disparity, the limitations to my ability to serve them....It fucking kills me.

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Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: May 07, 2020, 05:30:17 am »
I've been preoccupied with work, lucky to be employed but it's a hot-mess right now.

We'll all need a vacation after this ._.

35
Lounge / Re: Poetry
« on: May 06, 2020, 01:39:59 pm »
I really like Cassilda's Song, I use it as an invocation nowadays. Sometimes I add my own expansions and whatnot, so here is one. I'll call it Khemem's song.

Hastor’s light may graze the sea,
A thread of dread that carries me,
Through the night,
Into Carcosa.

Evening brings a giddy dread,
Where shadows stretch from in my head,
The mind doth reach,
Cold Carcosa.

Dew drops stain the widow’s breast,
Glowing red across her dress,
Yet pay no mind,
In Carcosa.

A creature calls out in the night,
Robbed of fear his wings take flight,
But never stray,
Into Carcosa.

Still mist splatters on the rocks,
And both suns rise up from the loch,
Oh blackest dawn,
Rise Carcosa.

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Lounge / Re: Poetry
« on: April 30, 2020, 04:54:08 am »
I walk along this path in day, and rest upon it in the night.
I let the weight of lidded light bathe me the calm of sight.
The water falls in early day, I tilt my head to wash away,
The fires of the heated tongues, the sounds of soothing settle numb,
Upon my ears and still I try to fight them off with sticks and knives,
Their jagged edges pierce and stab but in the eve I find my niche.
Each day a new, each morn reborn.
I’m stronger now than those who fight,
I’m wiser now than those who bleed,
Upon my path I’m met with strife, and still I walk through quietly.
The wisdom whispers at my ears and I would drink their solemn sounds,
I press my hands into the sky, and push my base down to the ground.
At long last a journey done, and in it I have called my calm.
I see in me not longingly, A stronger being in the dawn.

37
Current Events / Re: How are some of you handling this Corona thing
« on: April 30, 2020, 04:29:55 am »
Socializing in 2020

38
Introductions / Re: Como Emagrecer Rápido Dicas Das Melhores Jeitos
« on: April 30, 2020, 04:25:22 am »
 :facepalm:

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Introductions / Re: Volumao
« on: April 30, 2020, 04:24:14 am »
You must purchase official xtragel in up to 12x on the card through the official website and accept product in your home in A DISCRETE PACKAGE.

Can we please get rid of these people . . .

Yeah, I tried to alert the founders with the report function but haven't heard back yet. I'll try posting in the member board.

40
Lounge / Re: What are you doing right now?
« on: April 24, 2020, 02:36:26 pm »
Lately I'm learning that it's my primary language.

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Lounge / Re: What are you doing right now?
« on: April 23, 2020, 10:11:42 am »
Drawing :/

I've been trying to touch up my skills with physical mediums. I've been doing a lot of digital work lately.

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Lounge / Re: Poetry
« on: April 23, 2020, 10:06:33 am »
Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink behind the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies,
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead,
Die though, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa

-Cassilda's Song in "The King in Yellow" (Act 1, Scene 2), Robert W. Chambers, 1895

43
Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: April 22, 2020, 02:37:33 pm »
I've been really into Zdzisław Beksiński these last two weeks, and I've got a heap of un-used supplies from the failed Lupercalia event (thanks co-organizers) so I ordered a standing easel and plan to start re-discovering paint ASAP. It's strange, I haven't done art through a....physical? tactile? medium since highschool outside of sketching. The return feels nice and natural, a good break while I process all the shit from Voidism. I really wish that system didn't seem like such an insurmountable dread.


Things are great otherwise. I'm still working at the hospital, and no one in our houshold has gotten sick. In fact, the pandemic isn't so bad up here at all. Unfortunately, I'm fighting with my spouse alot. I'm pretty sure you could describe the dynamic as emotional abuse. She's very controlling. I've been hoping it's a reaction to stress and not a forever thing. I'm almost certain that this kind of relational bullying when employed against me of all people serves only to torture the abuser. I'm not an easy target. But things are fine for now.


I wish there was more I could do here with the OS. Everyone seems....more distant than usual. Perhaps I can host a zoom meeting or something. I'm not sure if anyone would attend, but it would stir up the community and get discussion flowing regularly, something I'm sure none of us would object to. We'll see.


-A*A

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Access to memory is used to recall previous similar instances and may have relevant ties to access mechanisms defined in the field of machine learning. As of now, we can observe that short term memory is accessed in similar functions of data retrieval, while long term memory relies on situational cues, both internal and external. Most manifestations result in biased memory unless the user has an established form of emotional control. Furthermore, the effect of emotion is minimized to nearly un-detectable capacity while retaining or even improving its core function if the user has acquired methods of thought transmutation, banishment, free expression, coping, ect.

Emotional states also relay the cost value of predictive models by punishing the user for non-beneficial action (self motivated or otherwise.) Unless the user can acknowledge the cost value and adjust the model appropriately (take responsibility for and acknowledge their contribution to the perception of stress) malignant action or thought remains beneficial in the mind of the user, contrasting the reality of their actions. By taking responsibility for perceived error we are able to identify thoughts and action that contribute to the perceived failure and adjust them for later re-testing.


Focused attention determines resources spent on each predictive model in relation the to the value of success. This is how we plot courses of action in accordance with desire, or form desire all together. If the information is being considered to fill a need, focused attention determines the perception of that need's urgency.

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Journals / Re: The Anthology of Km Anu
« on: April 15, 2020, 09:39:49 am »
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” ― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman

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