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Topics - Kapalika

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Lounge / was ready to kill someone tonight
« on: February 08, 2020, 08:22:49 am »
So I've been couch surfing for the last few months. The last 5 weeks I was staying with the sibling of one of the people I had stayed with before. It's went pretty well so far and I'm just a few days from moving into a place I'd have an actual lease as there's just a couple things left to process for it. My host is a recovering addict that's been clean for a good while, and mostly has her stuff together but unfortunately has had a questionable old friend come around this last week or so (though after this they are no longer friends thankfully).

The friend is a 26 year old woman that is still very much an addict but claiming she wants to quit and having went to a narcotics anonymous meeting even. Well tonight she got dropped off by some junkie friends and started pounding on the door for forever (my host was asleep and I ignored it because I hate her). When my host let her in she asked my host for ketamine which my host was taking tiny amounts for for getting off of her methadone medication, which the friend ostensibly asked for so she could use it to ease going cold turkey herself on satan knows what. Not long after, my host learns of her friend having been dropped off by junkie friends and turns out the friend's abusive ex boyfriend was outside their gate, having been told where she was by the people who dropped her off.

My host goes out with a big kitchen knife and I know shit is going down. I happens to have a CO^2 powered air gun with a FPS high enough that it can potentially kill at close range to the face and eyes, so I quickly popped in a fresh CO^2 and had a hammer ready as backup. I couldn't possibly bring myself to lock my host out if it went down that bad, simply out of principle, and i hear it get bad and thankfully it's her who later comes back.

Turns out she almost lost the knife to the ex boyfriend and got hit and managed to lock the gate. She later goes out again (why I have no fucking clue other than to threaten the cops on them) and it's getting serious enough that I'm afraid they will get around the gate somehow and I swore to myself that if anyone else but her came back I would fire all my shots into whoever's face and eyes then use the hammer to finish the job if that didn't at least disable them. The whole ordeal went on for the better part of an hour.

Eventually the Sheriff came and went looking for them, but while they were the fuckers were sending death threats and threatening to slash my host's tires and at this point I'm just trying to figure out how to leave because there was only really one way in and out of the house. I eventually went through the back gate when I knew they were over at the front gate.

Stuff in life bothers me, but very little truly scares me. I was scared not of the possibility of killing anyone, but with the fact that self defense might not be bought of I maimed or killed someone and that the cops might think it was an actual firearm and that I was dangerous (this county has the literal worst in the country in terms of police shootings), or me or my host being seriously maimed or killed. I didn't know who these people were or what they were capable of.

Meanwhile the friend is acting all like it's a joke or no big deal and making the situation worse, and was apparently high on gods know what. After I left I messaged my host and she told me she locked her friend out that she couldn't risk them ruining her life. Right now I'm in a motel because fuck going back, and just processing the realization that ya, I came pretty damn close to killing someone today, and that doesn't bother me one bit.

I was already considering getting my conceal and carry permit. Looks like I need to go pistol shopping at some point soon, because I'm not going to risk trying my luck again with a hammer and something not actually designed to kill that I only had for fun.

General LHP Discussion / How do *you* LHP?
« on: February 02, 2020, 03:07:34 am »
Pardon the phrasing.

I present three questions, in part for a cataloging of various LHP thoughts, since we have a diversity of opinions and manifestations of it, as well as spur some discussion.

1. In your own words, and/or the general view of your identified current/sect/ect of thought, what is the "Left Hand Path"? What differentiates it between other belief systems or practices that are not Left Hand Path?

2. What practices do you engage in, that generally set you apart from religions/spiritual systems/ect that are not Left Hand Path?

3. What are some misconceptions about the Left Hand Path that you would like to address, if any?

General LHP Discussion / working with daemons for the arts
« on: January 18, 2020, 11:26:10 am »
Edit: after posting this I recalled a similar topic of mine but it was specific to goetic demons and pacts as opposed to just demons in general for art like this one. Can't seem to delete this topic as I was gonna make it a reply there instead but Oh well this is here now lol


Anyone done this?

I've worked with Goetic currents for musical ends with a lot of success, never even needed to evoke any demon to see strong results. Lately I'm wanting to try this out again although this time with poetry. Later on, I will evoke like I planned I just didn't feel mentally prepared for how overwhelming the results started to become (I also realized I contacted a demon more for composition instead of music more generally so I could channel it towards more post production).

Other types of demons I've only had limited success with for this and not much worth mentioning.

I'm not sure what it is, but over the years I find that Goetic demons give me much stronger results than most other systems I've worked with before. I would reckon a guess that the demons contained within are simply stronger or maybe it's just knowing I'm doing something that's more or less with some of the oldest stuff we got our hands on.

Luciferianism / Ford's Tarot
« on: December 12, 2019, 07:48:55 am »
So I've never been a fan of Ford, from what I know of his work, but I've had a lot of success so far with the tarot deck based on this the last week or so:

I pretty much just stick to the quick reference or the description of the cards, and def something spooky (beyond normal phenomenal) is going on when I use the deck. I own 2 other decks yet I keep coming back to this one. I've even consulted with spirits in relation to it, so I know something is happening, and there are other things I could get into, about how a spirit knocked the deck over and all landed in a pile but the spread for a reading right side up right before I was about to do one. I don't want to say too much as it went to an incredibly personal series of events in my life. Suffice to say, it was spot on and kept predicting what was going to happen, what did happen and what has happened pretty much 100% as to what has come to pass already. I find the deck seems to predict the future, generally, in the short term future. I always use the past-present-future spread for the simplicity and to help gauge and reflect  my best course of action to avoid futures I don't want to manifest.

Part of me thinks the spookyness (beyond normal phenomena) is because of the sigils on the back of the cards, but I'm sure the artwork helps too.

Does anyone else have experience with this deck or the book that they would be willing to share?

General LHP Discussion / recommended LHP books for the uninitiated
« on: December 12, 2019, 06:43:05 am »
My partner asked I get them books on the LHP for Yule. They are a witch and have been curious about the LHP for a long time and this seems like a good opportunity to introduce them.

I've determined to figure out a good sampling of LHP ideas in general. I'm debating between the best mix of books for the "big three" of Luciferian, Setian and Satanist, but not determined the final books yet. I don't know a good alternative to Ford, and I think they already read the Satanic Bible. I'm not familiar enough with Aquino's work (or other Setians') to know what is most friendly to someone just starting to learn.

I also don't know any good theistic Satanism books that are nearly approachable for someone just starting out, as what books I have learned from or know of tend to be either extreme or advanced, as very few as there are. A lot of theistic Satanism is learned via articles, theological history, poetry, and experience.

I'm also particularly interested in LHP books on Lilith or a Lilith mindset as that's something I've always looked for and I know they are into Lilith in particular (maybe more than me).

Lastly even if I could just find something that's objective enough and kind of covers the Left Hand Path in general that would be great, if such a thing exists for the latter. Seems everything I ever recall had too much of it's own bent.

General LHP Discussion / pacts with goetic demons
« on: November 26, 2019, 10:56:37 am »
Anyone got any tips or advice, or experience with the demons in the Goetia? Alternatively, I will take any input on pacts in general.

In my entire practice I've avoided pacts, although I have made a couple of oaths to deities that I take serious enough that i'd literally rather die than break them.

But alas I am at the point that in my magical journey, I want to make a pact. So here I am.

I've looked into pacts with Satan before, but I always feel demons are more... tricky? I feel Satan is rather nebulous, more of a force, a demon is very much a personality and individually sentient to me. In that sense, I don't have as much to go on, experience wise. I'm in the research phase at the moment.

Lounge / Watain member denied entry to USA
« on: November 23, 2019, 05:38:21 pm »

Basically he looked spooky, they searched his phone found more spooky stuff and revoked his passport and deported him, a Swede, to Mexico. Rest of band barely got through after tons of legal cost.

I want to say more but read article on way to work, I'll try to comment my fuller thoughts later.

Lounge / my first ever DJ show and a moment of magic
« on: November 01, 2019, 06:34:58 am »
there was maybe 3 dozen different people I saw, nothing huge, a friend working at the local LGBT center asked me to for their Halloween event.

I posted some photos on my facebook page (have a few more too and video but kept that on my personal page for privacy) but the most interesting one I wanted to show was the one below.

My friend who had me do the DJing asked how i had "lit up" the copy of Simon's Necronomicon and I was dumbfounded, but saw an opportunity and said "black magic!" right as a darn person who had been hanging all day pointed out that the light just lit it up. I was surprised as I had placed the book down long before the main lights went off, let alone before the strobe light came on.

Well lo and behold later when I look at my pictures... indeed whenever it changed from red lights to blue and green, one of the green lights PERFECTLY lit up the sigil. I just put it there with the cobwebs and a couple of other things to complete the spooky look (since the name evokes Lovecraft) for the spooky setlist... little did I know there might of been some form of real, subtle magic going on haha

Admin Note: I fixed the Facebook link, and since the image is a link (rather than an attachment), if you want to see the full-resolution of the image just right-click and select "open in new tab" or whatever. Nice lighting setup @Kapalika. -Onyx

Satanism / "Satan is..."
« on: August 08, 2019, 11:03:09 am »

Something I thought of to put succinctly the sphere and symbolic relation of Satan to one's practice and beliefs. Share yours below or thoughts on the idea.


"Satan is  (one word)"

My own:

Satan is Perseverance.
Satan is Power.
Satan is Empowerment.
Satan is Truth.
Satan is Cosmic.
Satan is Chaos.
Satan is Individualism.
Satan is Freedom.
Satan is Discipline.
Satan is Self-Mastery.
Satan is Defiance.
Satan is Carnality.
Satan is Spirituality.
Satan is Opposites.
Satan is Duality.
Satan is Nonduality.
Satan is Destruction.
Satan is Creation.
Satan is Essence.
Satan is Self.
Satan is Reflection.
Satan is Wrath.
Satan is God.

I could probably think of more but those are the ones that come to mind. Some might seem redundant but English is kinda vague at times and many I'd see differences in (ie self mastery might be more skill related where as discipline is more about having self control and healthy habits that foster self mastery, both of which play into personal power ect)

General LHP Discussion / Animal sacrifice
« on: April 11, 2019, 11:21:04 am »
This came up with an IRL friend, but I find it hypocritical for someone to be against animal sacrifice if they eat meat.

To me, if you eat an animal, you might a well of killed it yourself, and if you are willing to kill it yourself, what more is it to attach a ritual and religious significance to it? Now, I'm not saying that the so called "dabbler" who goes out and kills for thrill is somehow doing something valid... like any ritual the context, theology and symbolism are paramount. It is the purpose and direction of the act that matters. In most contexts, this will be offering the blood or the death throes to some symbol or deity, while the meat itself goes to the practitioner to eat. This is more in line with certain types of historical sacrifices.

The other option is vegetarianism, butI personally don't really have any interest in that and I think most people don't either.


Lounge / just got a job!
« on: March 22, 2019, 12:29:28 am »
For those who don't know, I've been homeless since January.

Just got a call today though, after an interview, offering me the job. I go in tomorrow for paperwork and background check.

I posted some about the situation on my site at one point, I think before I got into an apartment. I was homeless for 3 weeks when I first moved due to the first apartment leading us on, then I was in a place with the original intended roommate but was given 2 months to get a job but it was a bad time of year to be hunting for what I was after. I don't have a lot of credit history and I have no rent history since I had a verbal deal with the person owning the Ranch I lived on my entire adult life hence they required I also have a job in addition to the roommate (they wouldn't accept my self-employment as verifiable income since I just started again and thus had no tax returns to show for it)

But now with a job, based on what I was told before, the place I was staying at before with my last roommate should let me on the lease now if I go back, from what I understand. If not, I'll find another apartment there are a couple of people looking for roommates at the moment I can hit up to find a place with, people in similar situations.

Anyways, just glad I got it, as I can now climb out of this.

Satanism / I am Hatred...
« on: March 03, 2019, 05:23:07 am »
...Darkness and Despair.

My descent is the story of every man.

Evoked and entertained through centuries
Wrathful and sullen--dormant still
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last

Reconcile not with the fear of the snake
But embrace it as your own
Inject it's venom into your veins
And replant the seed that gives growth
Still shrouded in mystery
Until you arise above perception
A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout generations

A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout multiple generations
Let me be the one that deliver you from the deceit
And back into perfect accordance with the laws of nature

The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice

That chick from Seven Spires, her Cover version is better than the original IMO. Discuss the lyrical content please. I see it as Jungian with the story of Satan as the adverserial agent of knowledge and freedom to bring in tune and return the conscious mind to the true most innate self. To me, this fits perfectly with Shaivite view of ignorance and knowledge of the supreme Subjective Self as being liberation.

As I say, "Satan is the only Truth". Darkness as the way of Enlightenment. Vamachara.

General LHP Discussion / Do you believe in spirits?
« on: March 03, 2019, 05:11:54 am »
Things outside of us, not just metaphor or a part of your psyche, but independently existing entities that you can interact with?

Are they self aware? What is the limit or capacity of their abilities, both to themselves, the world around them, each other and to us?

General LHP Discussion / suicide
« on: February 25, 2019, 05:30:04 am »
Is suicide a right?

In what, if any, situations is suicide rational?

Today I read this article:

And was surprised to learn that laws against suicide and general public attitudes actually stem from Christian tradition which teaches that the person belongs to Yahweh and hence to commit suicide is to commit a sin against that god.

However, as rational LHP folks who generally accept that the individual will is sovereign, what if that will is to end one's life after much rational thought on the matter? What if they were to set out to do what they wished to accomplish in life, and upon being satisfied with the result, ended their life feeling they have fulfilled their purpose?

Also, if you believe in any kind of afterlife or apotheosis, could any desirable end or god-hood be attained through a ritual wherein the suicide was the height of it? Supposedly thereby accomplishing the goal?

What rational, LHP based arguments are there for or against suicide in various instances?

Satanism / what does satan look like?
« on: February 15, 2019, 11:42:17 pm »
To me, it's an incomprehensible mess of black and color, completely eldritch. I often have no visualization of Satan however, it is something felt rather than seen, like a feeling in the blood.

Something with the title, darkishly angelic, like Death itself. Ancient depictions of angels were terrifying, and we would if seeing their depiction now days, call them demonic. After all for some mythos demons were just angels who "fell". Their appearances wouldn't be that terribly different if at all.

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