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Topics - Cabshear

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1
Movies / The Borg as God/EL/OU
« on: January 04, 2021, 06:54:05 pm »


The Borg are a race absent of individuality and function as a collective, hive mind. They have only one goal. Assimilation of those outside the collective. From a Setian/Satanic standpoint this is active WM. Though not ceremonial based, in Borg lingo: "Ceremony is insignificant. You must be assimilated."
They were first introduced in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Even Jean-Luc Picard had a rather unfortunate run in with them.

Season 6 episode 2 [Survival Instinct] of Star Trek: Voyager depicts an interesting, Satanic, concept. A small ship of Borg crash land on a strange planet, far from the reaches of the collective mind of the larger Borg colony. The longer the Borg are away from the interlink, the Collective, they begin to remember* their individual self. A group of four Borg, including a main character named Seven of Nine, struggle and argue over the implications of refusing to be assimilated into the sum total. Despite Seven's demands the rest rebel to further indulge** their individuality. Consider the first of the re-Vised Satanic Statements:

1. Indulgence establishes life, as abstinence death

When the other Borg characters indulge in their uniqueness they begin to remember their lives. One even remembers her own name, this is interesting when considering the power of Ren, an aspect of the MS.

Essentially what God is, from the Borg perspective, is a uni-matrix. Resistance is futile and morality is inconsequential when attempting to assimilate those outside the collective into the uni-matrix. Those outside the collective are threats that are either destroyed or forced into assimilation. If we look to the Diabolicon we can see similar descriptions:

Know, then, that throughout the great Cosmos there exists a sublime order, whose nature was determined in eons long past by that singular consciousness of all order which is now called by name God. -Statement of Satan

This singular consciousness is similar to the Collective of the Borg. The Borg eschew any words or concepts of individuality. The Borg do not see uniqueness of Self. These are seen as "evil" to the Collective.

However, in the episode, Survival Instinct, the four Borg separated from the Collective start to see their uniqueness:

But finally my Will flamed to life, and I thought - and I perceived my Self, and I knew that I was one alone in mind and a being of essence unique. And through the power of my new mind, I reached out to others who had been formed with me, and I touched them and gave them identity. And that we might achieve this identity of substance as well as of mind, we composed for ourselves distinctive shapes. -Statement of Satan

Those outside the Collective don't see themselves as evil. However there is acceptance that, from the perspective of the uni-matrix, we are seen as a threat.

What, man, art thou? Why thy presence? Because thy own purpose determines that of the Cosmos itself, though otherwise it may have been suggested - the creation, perpetuation, and exercise of the Satanic marvel that is free and unbounded Will. Consider, were man to perish, what futility would envelop the Universe, for apart from appreciation and use it is a thing of insignificance. And I, who first taught thee identity - What should I become, estranged from man? For with no purpose the force of the mind must fail, and the blind insanity of Godly paralysis would embrace all things forever. -Statement of Satan

Of course the writers of the show never thought that they were playing with Black Magical concepts, like Self-awareness and individuality versus the Self being dissolved into a Uni-matrix. However, it is an interesting way of looking at the Soul. Not as something that comes from God, but rather is the active principle of independence within us, that which we must indulge in to Xeper.

At the end of the episode Seven desires for her fellow ex-Borg members to experience individuality, just as she has. Seven debates with the ship's medical hologram who tells her that if he removes a piece of their original Borg hardware they will be fully individual, but it will dramatically shorten their lifespan. She desires their freedom of Will***. This is the role of Satan/Set/PoD. Like an ex-member of the Borg it, like Seven, desires for those outside the Collective/the OU to be free and individual. She explains to the doctor that if he were a drone in the collective and fled even he wouldn't desire to return.

*= this could be similar to what Dr. Aquino mentions when he speaks of anamnesis.
**= Indulgence was the word uttered by Magus LaVey, during the Age of Satan.
***=Thelema, the word uttered by The Great Beast 666

2
Setian Philosophy / Discussions on the Mindstar
« on: January 03, 2021, 05:21:58 pm »
In both the Re-Vision Satanic Bible and the groundbreaking book Mindstar Dr. Aquino talks about the Mindstar and its many aspects. In the revised SB Aquino talks about how engaging in GBM, without a thorough understanding of the MS, can create id-monsters or create unconscious problems for the Magician.

What I would like to do is open up some discussions and techniques on understanding the different aspects of the Mindstar. Philosophical conversation of these things is encouraged by Aquino, he mentions dialetic many times in both the Revision SB and Mindstar. I was hoping to have some serious discussions to grow in my understanding of this and help others expand their understanding as well.

It's interesting to note that one way to explore the first emanation of the MS, the Khat, is to use the 19th part of the Word of Set. If you have a handy SB reVision this can be used to start the process. I am starting this today. However I was anticipating there is more that went into this than just reciting the key and the number associated with the Aethyr. If anyone has any ideas on creating a better setting for using the 19th key I am all ears. It could also be my own blindspot to need to "ceremonialize" everything. However, It's not readily explained what goes into using the key. Does one just recite the 19th part and then meditate on it? Or just recite it and if the vision comes, it comes.

Correction: I did some research and came across this.

https://keepsilence.org/enochian/UsefulPracticestoAidScrying.pdf





3
Satanism / New Initatory Satanic Material by Micheal Kelly
« on: January 03, 2021, 04:38:56 pm »


Quote
Draconian Magician and Left Hand Path teacher Michael Kelly here presents his homage to the philosophy and practice of Satanist Anton LaVey.A devotee of LaVey's teachings for three decades, Kelly here reconsiders the core tenets of Satanism and applies them to his own initiatory curriculum based upon the Seven Heads of the primordial Dragon, first presented in his book APOPHIS.Guided by the inner driving force of the Seven Deadly Sins, Kelly describes the route to a life of personal excellence, achievement and fulfilment. Along the way he raises many complex ethical questions and turns the tables on what the reader might suppose on more than one occasion.A tome from the Devil's own Bookshelf.

This book takes Satanism to it's next level, paired with Kelly's Grimoire of the Sevenfold Serpent as well as Aquino's ReVision of the Satanic Bible.

One of the issues I had ran into with Satanism is that at a certain point all the signs point to a dead end. I started practicing Satanism seriously nearly 7 years ago. During that time I became an accomplished Paramedic, got my bachelors degree, got a house, learned a martial art, and because of the motivation of Satanism developed a powerful exercise weight lifting regime. All of these are success I attributed to both GM and LM. However, at a certain point there nothing left to do magic for. All the personal goals were accomplished and I was looking for a more transformational magical practice.

The Satanic Dragon is the text that every Satanist needs to take that Greater Magical practice to the next level beyond. If you feel at a dead end, if you need to breakthrough short term magical practice and step into a larger world of Satanic initiatory magic this is the book you need.

4
Setian Philosophy / Aquino's concept of GBM has me a bit confused
« on: January 03, 2021, 03:52:39 pm »
As I have have learned and grown over the years I have move more away from the "standard/typical" Satanic concepts, as well as the Temple of the Vampire, I have been studying more Setian-Satanic oriented material. I am currently on my 3rd re-read of the ReVison of TSB and he mentions something in there about GBM that seems a bit confusing.

Quote
The "Invocation to Satan" in the original Satanic Bible is an articulation to formalize the intentions of the magician and his/participants deserving of daemonic attention/augmentation as sincere Satanists. What the Invocation is not is communication with the entities. TSB-ReVised page 233 [section on Incantation]

He goes on to explain that the daemons and the PoD live in their own respective SU and CSU. "That voice speech is irrelevant insofar as if focuses vague attitudes and sentiments." 

I guess my question is does the make the standard way of ritual essentially pointless? Why speak or write an invocation or ritual, even dedicated to Set, if he exists in his own CSU and invocations are not methods of communication then how does one establish that link or connection?

Is establishing communication with the PoD even necessary for one's Xeper? If not then why even have an invocation to Set to begin with?

I apologize if this post seems a bit thrown together. This tripped me up last night when I was reading.

5
Journals / And So It Begins...?
« on: January 07, 2020, 01:07:35 pm »
For quite awhile I have felt that my practice, in the CoS, was dead ended. The magic wasn't working like it used to and I was finding myself greatly dissatisfied with what they would call their "philosophy."  I recently pulled out my old Setian books and began to take up a more initiatory path. I read through the Newer Satanic Bible and some of the material from Frater V.I.M's Thelemic Satanism reading list. I have been hand painting my own proper Pentagram of Set and slowly restructuring my altar.

Yesterday (1-6-2020) I had completed a read through of Uncle Setnakt's Essential Guide and even created a sigil using his magical square method. As the evening wore on I picked up my copy of Mindwar and began reading. It has been a long time since a book had kept my attention so deeply. The book itself was exciting me as well as puzzling me. To me, Isolate Intelligence is not so much a fearful thought. I can recognized that I am distinct from the things around me. It is primarily because of these OU "hits" or benchmarks that I am able to make this assessment. I may not yet fully realize it, but the concept of the Isolator is something I have always deeply appreciated and hope to build on. I came to the text on four major parts of the Mindstar. Of course, I had read this before in the ReVision SB. It make sense then, it seems to make sense now. However, It's the ananmesis part that I working on.

I could feel a deep vibration in myself. I started to ask myself questions to narrow things down, to awaken a more anamnetic aspect. How does one remember the Khabit (astral body)? I could feel the vibrations in myself. Similar to the one's I felt during my Lifeforce training in the Temple of the Vampire. How do I feel about the Khabit? How does my feelings of the the Khabit ensure that I have, in a sense, remembered it's existence? Have I fully done so? Same for Ren? I can grasp the concept, however does this mean that I have remember the knowledge I already have on this? How can I be so sure that I have indeed intuited these things!

As I was laying in bed reading, Star Trek playing in the background, this desire unfolds in me. The Tarot! Could I use the tarot to get some communication going with my Greater Self? So I walk out to my bookshelf and grab the Thoth. I open the pack shuffle it up and evoke my Greater Self. It was a spontaneous honest invocation to the Prince of Darkness and the Isolate Intelligence within myself. It was a very powerful evocation and I pulled the top card off the deck, Ace of Cups. References to binah, the Holy Grail and the element of Water - element of intuition. An interesting window into the situation. I was drawn to the words Holy Grail. I have read this term many times in Dr. Aquino's work and heard it in his interviews. Those words really drew my attention.

The Dream for last night was hard to remember, patchy. It was full of occult symbolism. However, it was also fully of conflict and negative emotion. The dream itself is cloudy, hard to gather.

-End Journal for 1-6/1-7 2020

6
Satanism / Requiem for a Vampire
« on: December 27, 2019, 05:34:31 pm »

This is the seal of the Temple of the Vampire. An organization that I greatly respect. However, it's very curious indeed that an organization, such as this, would maintain a "gentlemen's agreement" with an organization that would humiliate it. Were it not for the high ranking CoS members at its helm!

Recently a large collection of CoS members walked away from the church, due to its recent political grandstanding. Taking up some the similar virtue signaling of the Satanic Temple. One of the members mentioned that it's very curious that the Church of Satan has taken a harsh stance against tax free status of churches. However, nothing is mentioned of the ToV. The Temple maintains a tax free status and ironically Church of Satan digital storefronts hock the Vampire medallions, rings, and plaques at their market place. Along side the myriad of overstated Baphomets.

However, this is not a post for political reasons. One member has mentioned a possible tax shelter for the church to get some financial kick backs through their gentlemen's agreement. However, this is mere speculation, no real evidence has been brought for to prove this.

My post is about the opposing viewpoints taught by these organizations. If one were to present some of the concepts taught in the ToV to the Church of Satan they would be uncerimoniously kicked from the organization. The Temple encourages an experimental attitude toward Magic, Life-force, and the Undead Gods. One is encouraged not to believe in these things outright, as this would not be a logical position to take. However, one starts from the Dayside and functions as a material skeptic. Essentially, a "creative atheist." After significant experiences are obtained one is able to compare and contrast the Nightside (PSI/Spiritual) to the Dayside (Materialism/Atheism) and come out with a new synthesis, Twilight. This very process of Thesis/Antithesis = Synthesis is not a concept that is recognized in the Church of Satan. Whether in regards to the Prince of Darkness, Powers of Darkness, the Gift of Hell or anything else that smacks of metaphysics or supranormal possibilities.

I have come into contact with ToV members who know, based on their experimentation, that Lifeforce and The Undead Gods are very real and have conveyed the Rain of Mercy on them. This results in an evolution, a sort of Xeper. Again this idea would face nothing but hostility and ridicule in the Church of Satan. The Temple sells guided meditation tracks for techniques such as practical magic, astral projection, and lucid dreaming. None of these things even being encouraged in the Church of Satan. Rather these things would face serious ridicule and rejection. So, how is it that one could maintain the degree of Priest in the ToV and the Degree of Priest in the CoS simultaneously?

The Church of Satan maintains a dogmatic stance on their materialistic foundations. This would essentially make them more RHP, than LHP. The Temple rejects the notions of LHP and RHP. However, the Temple teaches a simple dialectic approach to overcoming materialistic thought. It is called the Deidentification process.

Can you know about "X"? If you can, then it is not you. You cannot be what you do, what you wear. You are something distinct. You look out from behind the eyes and grant meaning, life, light, and color to your world. When your eyes close it is like a large curtain that falls over your inner power to grant life to the world. Thus, you are God. For it is because of you that this world exists. You are like a ghost inside a flesh vehicle. This is merely a summation of Deidentification.

What is evern more interesting is that Nemo, developed a track for Gilmorian Satanists using this same methodology.

https://www.bridgestotruth.com/PF-01.html

I have this track and highly recommend it, as an Esoteric Satanist. If anyone is interested, I'd be happy to share it. So, what's the point? The point is why would a supremely materialistic organization encourage the use of a dialectic process designed to undercut the authoritarian materialism that is the foundation of the church?! Why set the stage for doublethink? The end result of deidentification is to lose the chain of materialistic RHP thought. To open one up to greater influences. Be they Satan, Set, or the Undead Gods. The Principle of Isolate Intelligence is just that. What we call it is secondary.

At the start of this crude rant I posted an image of the ToV. The Winged Skull of UR. In a Bloodlines article the symbol is explored in its majesty. The author of this article explains that in reality it is the winged solar disk. Known to Thelemites as Hadit.



According to Temple teachings, this is the Winged Skull of UR looking downward. Away from the individual. In the above image one is looking at the top of the Skull of UR. As he casts his gaze upward, the facial portion is revealed. Again, this connection with Egyptian Mysteries would be a pretty big "no-no" in the CoS.

The ultimate question for this Black Magician is...Why? Why then align with an authoritarian materialistic group like the Church of Satan? A group that would never encourage its member to develop a synthetic view on Satan, based on Greater Black Magic experiences. They would never cherish members who have used a logical approach to determine the Satan was a very real being. Or approach Greater Magic from an experimental standpoint to arrive at a conclusion that Magic was very real. Despite what Anton LaVey said about magic.

Why maintain doublethink?

7
Gaming / Argent Saga
« on: September 20, 2019, 06:58:33 pm »
Tell your friends about a new trading card game created in my home state, Ohio!

https://argentsaga.com


8
Movies / Satan's Little Helper
« on: September 20, 2019, 04:48:25 pm »


On the afternoon of Halloween, Douglas Whooly (Alexander Brickel) dons his costume in expectation of a fun-filled night. But, when he hears that his beloved sister, Jenna (Katheryn Winnick), has found herself a boyfriend, he throws a tantrum and flees the house. Douglas befriends a man in a devil costume and helps him decorate his lawn with fake corpses. Unfortunately for Douglas and his family, the corpses -- much like the murders that will punctuate the evening to come -- are all too real.

One of my personal favorites.

9
Journals / How I feel at this time
« on: September 19, 2019, 03:13:17 pm »
It's has been quite sometime since I have been here. I can say with pride that things have gone very well.
My current job has been at home more and earning much more than any other job I have had. I work 2 days a week and make $2800 before taxes. Not too bad.

This opens me up for a part time work to fund my hobbies and magical pursuits.

However, I seem to be running into some "magical dead-ends." Not totally, however I have come to realize that the magic I use, predominately coming from CoS oriented material, is very linear. What I mean by linear is that it's for Cash/Fortune, Sex, and Revenge. Other CoS books merely bring variations on that. While I have done many of the ceremonies from the Satanic Rituals, it has been quite a challenge to obtain the material for Die Elektrician Vorspiel(Sp?). Vandergraff generators are a bit hard and pricey to come by, as well as finding a machine that will make the type of sound necessary to create the proper ambiance.

I have been working with The Book of Smokeless fire, but low and behold we are at the same spot! Black magic that has only a very limited use. Cursing. The entire book, though it's not a bad book, is a mish mash of Arabic Jinn variation on the goetia. It's only use is to cause suffering and destruction to people who have caused you pain or harm.

However, when I look to people who I revere. One Diabolus Rex Church comes to mind, they are moving on to really amazing things. Like the Ragnarok Engine. Internally that's where I am wanting to be. On those larger projects, doing much bigger things with my magic. Rather than standing in the same Nocturary bitching to Satan for more money or that one of my old friends pissed me off so now it's hexing time.

I guess my next ritual needs to be on building newer and better magical horizons, seeking out new challenges and developing newer workings. Rather than recognizing that all the wishes of my old workings have come to fruition so I should just sit down, become fat and happy and only do a ritual or 2 when the mood strikes me. I'd rather not do that. I'd rather do something big. Something that breaths newer and fresher life in to my Satanic practice.

10
Satanism / Simulation Hypothesis
« on: April 12, 2019, 01:41:26 am »
https://www.simulation-argument.com/simulation.pdf

Greetings,

Above is a linked argument by Nick Bostrom who argues that we could be living in a complex computer simulation. A recent hypothesis has take new life amongst technologists in Silicon Valley, that we are living in a computer simulation.

"The universe is 13.8 billion years old, so any civilizations that may have arisen throughout the cosmos have had loads and loads of time to hone their technological know-how, the SpaceX founder and CEO Elon Musk explained early this morning (Sept. 7) during a long, wide-ranging and very entertaining appearance on comedian Joe Rogan's popular podcast"

The idea, made popular by the Matrix films by the Wachowski Brothers, has some serious truth to it, outside of the exhaustive mysticism that many of us LHP practitioners tend to reject.

And yet...

Video Games, Films, and VR have developed graphics that have become harder and harder to distinguish from what appears to be "real life." Thus, can we be so sure that have not done this before? It would seem crude to say that we are in a somewhat "real" MMORPG, but we not only have experience but we learn and grow from those experiences.

How does this play into a magical practice? Or why there are some who value this potential concept and others do not? In the fictitious story of Harry Potter there are muggles and there are magical oriented people. The muggles cannot see nor can they understand the bigger picture behind magic. Some of the even hostile to the idea. When it comes to programming there are some who see the GUI (Guided User Interface) and there are some who seem the underlying programming that gives life and functionality to that GUI. Some passionately deny that there is any underlying construct, that there is only the GUI. The first group the pops into my head are the "New Atheists" like Dawkins or Hitchens. Just as passionate and evangelical as the Christians that give their rebellion it's much needed fuel.

Magic has often been referred to as a "mental technology" it directs a potential non-local mind toward larger conceptualizations. Is it possible that magic could be a "hack" to the underlying construct which causes PSI phenomena? Or that it directs a non-local mind, within the construct, toward more opportunistic situations? While the Simulation Hypothesis is just that, a hypothesis I am curious if the existence of PSI phenomena and UFO phenomena could have something to do with the possibility of a simulation.

The Map is not the Territory. However, this could be a very useful map!

HS!

https://youtu.be/3d9i_0Ty7Cg

https://www.amazon.com/Simulation-Hypothesis-Computer-Scientist-Quantum-ebook/dp/B07M81F1KG/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=1MUTCXVSJYA7Y&keywords=simulation+hypothesis&qid=1555033217&s=gateway&sprefix=simulation+hyp%2Caps%2C136&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1

 

11
Music / Complex Metal without the Lyrics
« on: February 21, 2019, 01:07:10 pm »
Years have passed since my "phase one" days where I needed to hear tons of Black Metal bands screeching about hurling Christians into spike pits or mowing Jesus down with a machine gun.  :|

Sidenote: The positively worst rap/crap song that is the musical culmination of Phase One Satanism is a "song" called Kill All Christians by SickTanick....Terrible.

At the same time I have grown close to Metal that has virtually no lyrics. The musicians celebrate the music and without worrying about lyrics they can develop much more technical guitar play and other musical elements can be added. I never lost my love for classical music, and some of that hate/death/black metal, but this new enjoyment of mine I hope you will enjoy!

https://youtu.be/L7iC7gM5RYI

From the Set Course for Andromeda album

https://youtu.be/FF4_2WrPS6M

From the album Coma

https://youtu.be/sb4okFRWwwA

From the album Coma

https://youtu.be/rukEI0MLuEM

From the album Travelers

https://youtu.be/YapFE5wpso0

From the album The Ocean Atlas

https://youtu.be/Rv_a6rlRjZk

From the album Handmade Cities

https://youtu.be/5fNhD_lP1F4

From the album Other Things

https://youtu.be/HDj62yO8jE4

From the Album "V"

12
Satanism / Greater Magic Episode featuring Nemo
« on: November 14, 2018, 12:42:23 am »
One of my personal favorites.  :mrgreen:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlN9HAycWqg


13
Satanism / Suspension of Disbelief
« on: November 12, 2018, 04:28:19 pm »
With my time in the ToV I have learned that suspension of disbelief has been used to prevent members from falling into a trap of faith, which would be believing in something you have no reason to believe in, nor proper evidence. Faith is not hope, one hopes for a more positive outcome in their lives when they're doing positive things. That is not faith. However, the outcome of suspension of disbelief can either leave a person confused, or it can guide in toward a greater understanding. In the ToV one is expected to test things, not outright believe them. To start on the dayside and keep a healthy level of skepticism (not god like certainty nothing could ever be true) as one continues the practice (via their Suspension of disbelief) they gather experiences that can be verified, not just by themselves, but also by other members.

 I am not saying this to give away any valuable ToV information. Rather, to make a point. The Temple's position is wise. One starts out keeping things at a healthy arm's length, once you test, experiment and practice the "arms length" gets closer and closer. It's not blind faith or blind acceptance. It's verified and proven acceptance.

Essentially the need for "suspension of disbelief" fades away. Because, one has experienced, verified, and sees evidence of Supernormal, possibly supra-rational, phenomena. It's not faith, it's an acceptance of something that extends beyond our current understanding and it can be experienced, verified and proven*

Now, when it comes to the CoS one suspends disbelief in the chamber, and that's it. Full stop, right there.

The cheap example they give is the suspension of disbelief one uses to go see the newest Marvel film or read the next Harry Potter book. I feel example is a major disrespect toward what magic is, and the practice itself. I don't do ritual for the same reason my friends go see Venom. Therefore, I feel this is not the correct example to give. It blocks the real results that come from suspension of disbelief. Test, Experiment, Experience, Evolve.

Why would someone ardently object to the existence of something, while in the same breath extol their accomplishments via magic? I believe that some Satanists are not so good at avoiding self deceit, as they claim. A Satanist knowns in the first line of the Invocation that he is calling up Satan to do something. To turn around after the final bells and say: "It's just a play, like a film nothing will happen." IMO? Nauseatingly counter productive and self deceiving. Also, no different than what Dr. LaVey talks about in TSB, when he references pagans and new agers who ply the Devil's handiwork and then deny him.

if suspension of disbelief is the thesis, then PSI, experience, synchronicity, and transformation in the Chamber, are the combined antithesis. The synthesis is to evolve and not just drop Satan the minute you finish the Working. I can't understand how ToV members are also CoS members, many of the ToV accepting the Undead Gods. But when it comes to CoS activities its like a perfectly partitioned hard drive.

Does this mean I Believe in a literal Satan? I know that Satan is something, like LaVey I see Satan as the Dark Force in Nature. I don't exactly know what that is, but I don't think it's nothing. Since I am an active member in the current Church of Satan this is really the only place that I can say something.

However, what gets me is the logic the CoS uses. If I were to accept the existence of Satan (as something) that makes what I am doing no different that Christians, Jews, or Muslims. That doesn't sound logical, I just can't figure out where.

Sorry, this was bit of a personal rant.










*Reference books for proven PSI phenomena:
Supernormal by Dr. Dean Radin PhD
Real Magic by Dr. Dean Radin PhD
Science and the Supernatural by Chris Carter
Sorcery by J. Finley Hurley
Mind to Matter by Dawson Church (Careful, this can be a bit Occultnik-ish)

14
Satanism / Where Do I Go From Here?
« on: November 12, 2018, 12:27:14 am »



My interest, my faith in Nichiren Buddhism was starting to wane. Not just from the 3 years of ignorant comments from close minded Christian family members, but also the oppressive and persistent scathing criticism of my, now ex, wife. I was also bored with it, the joy it gave was slowly being stolen by it's similarities to my Christian upbringing. During that time I would remember my youthful appreciation for magic. From the imagination of children's card games, to films and books. So, I began my research, I had heard of Satanism in the past, but there was no reliable way to research in a strict Protestant home, with dial up internet.  ;)

I found what I was looking for, youtube had showed me Satanis: The Devil's Mass and Interviews by Anton LaVey. I had watched low graphic quality videos of some robotic sounding lady repeating the rituals from the Satanic Bible. I had obtained a copy of the Satanic Bible. The excitement and the intrigue rushed over me. I was excited to be using magic, and doing so as a Satanist. The rebellion, fear, mystery, excitement all fused within me. I felt as if a Flame was started deep with me. A flame that was hard to kill, but is now changing. After a long time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maD_9bymedE


Now, I am like the photo at the top. I feel I have taken Satanism as far as I can take it. Now it seems there is a part of me that wants to expand. I love the concept of Satanism, I have always cherished,  but I don't feel the same way about it. To be honest many times my Satanism has gotten me into trouble. Into unhealthy habits and unhealthy thought patterns. Like a tool that is used beyond its capacity, or not used the proper way, it threatens to hurt the user. I have noticed patterns over the past couple years.

Satanism leads me to destructive patterns, I see the patterns, resolve to remedy them, back off of Satanism, remedy the patters, attempt to re-apply Satanism, patterns either re-emerge or new patterns form.

Something has to change, I feel that I have used Satanism past a specific point, it's been played out.

I am also conflicted between my work in the Temple of the Vampire and the views held by the Church of Satan. What's even more confusing is both groups are friendly to each other and share common membership. Many of the views in the ToV run counter to the materialistic outlook of Satanism. Also, I have lost my touch with ritual magic. Magic used to be fun, full of life, and I was always certain that something would happen (keeping the Balance Factor in mind). Now, since being immersed in the materialistic outlook of the CoS, I am struggling to re-awaken that old magical excitement for my work in the ToV. I also feel like my Satanic Magic has suffered the wrath of materialism and thus, has no spark anymore, I have pigeon holed myself into a model. While also confusing since many CoS members are "open minded" to magic being real due to extensive studies in PSI phenomenon. It keeps shifting between "real" and "not real"

And not I am asking the same questions Satanists asked many many years ago in 1975. Where do I go from here? 



15
General LHP Discussion / Weekly or Monthly Skype discussion
« on: February 02, 2018, 01:46:56 pm »
This is just a quick idea. We should have weekly or bi-weekly skype conversations for those able to do it. I think conversations on topics LHP (history, books, films, concepts and idea) would be a great way for members to communicate, Grow and evolve our little corner of the Left Hand Path.

Hopefully it takes off.

HS!



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