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Geez, what a year! I've been trying to make time to swing by here and at least introduce myself briefly, amidst a whirlwind of life changes and such...

I am Izi Ningishzidda and I am primarily an occult oriented writer/thinker/artist with a particular passion for Hermeticism. I have been a prolific reader/writer/researcher my whole life (I'm nearly 40 these days.)

I have a website which I have inherited from the previous owner, one m1thr0s. We've been working on it together for a decade, and he was working on it before me for nearly two decades, before which he just studied his entire life for 35 years. It's about to undergo a major transmutation, so if you are interested in what's really interesting in occult philosophy today, keep an eye on abrahadabra.com over the coming months and years.

I am here to read what others have written and maybe pipe in myself every now and then if it seems I might have a perspective of value. There is always more to be said but I hope this little introduction gives you all a glimpse at least of who I am and what I am all about.

Great layout by the way...nicely done. Very encouraging palette...

I. Ningishzidda

July 08, 2017, 12:39:20 am
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Re: Is there an ideology outside the LHP which values the Self?
Whether seeking salvation and submission, disillusion, worship of the State, or simply reducing the self to deterministic meat, the vast majority of ideologies I have studied do not respect or love the Individual Self like the LHP. East or west, totalitarian or secular, and everywhere in between, something they seem to share is this trait of the self being bad, mistaken, an illusion, or even pretending it's simply what the brain does. Is there any group outside of the "Western" LHP that shares our respect for individual selves? Or is that a defining trait of our path?

Yes, The Ayn Rand Institute, which is very active and well funded, as well as the inspiration for Lavey to formulate the Church of Satan, is very much the original "Selfish" organization. They are not for everybody, and they tend to be very disinterested in anything occult, but they are far, far more authentic than some of the Ayn Rand groups out there which are more about dissecting Ayn Rand and picking what they like, then, forming a group-think organization around the bits they like.

The Ayn Rand Institute is extremely rigorous in their analysis and quite mature and tolerant. I like them a lot but then again I like Ayn Rand, and dislike her followers intensely, most of the time.

Ayn Rand was outright wrong about a lot of things, but she nailed it when it came to individual autonomy and self worth.

July 08, 2017, 12:55:58 am
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Re: About the Sha Animal "We" "Know this" about the nature of the universe? Not so sure I agree with that statement. The Egyptians weren't stupid, they did have observational medicine and a protoscience. What if the universe is benevolent through harshness?

Reminds me of a line from Liber Tzaddi:

25. The weak, the timid, the imperfect, the cowardly, the poor, the tearful --- these are mine enemies, and I am come to destroy them.

26. This also is compassion: an end to the sickness of earth. A rooting-out of the weeds: a watering of the flowers.

This is a Class A document, ie marked as a invocation of the highest order. 

July 29, 2017, 11:01:05 am
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Re: Hello! I am New! The 600 Club is just okay, but their hardcore anti-troll stance has just made it an unpleasant environment with tons of trolls and obnoxious people, and you pretty much have to be the type of Satanist who is sucking off bad rehashes of Ayn Rand's shit. Like what's the point? I ended up just going to the Ayn Rand Institute and found the same material but presented much more professionally.

Any conversation about magick or the occult tends to be viewed with a snob attitude by the self-made elites there. I've been a member there for ages but they really don't get it, they're just old.

July 29, 2017, 11:08:47 am
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Re: Older Games By old I see you mean ancient.

The oldest game I play on occasion is GemStone IV...it's a MUD and text based but it's very high quality. Alot of famous writers play it because it's great for learning how to type fast and write in a fictional style, stimulating the right brain.

July 29, 2017, 11:10:06 am
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Ningishzidda  Jul 31, 2017 at 12:28am

I slip into the trance state. The pure juice of the Yang flux flows through me, more pleasurable than sexual or intellectual activity. m1thr0s shows me the dark reality of the world, and its masks. I am appalled, and afraid. Nothing scares me like bad magick. I feel revulsion, confusion, disgust, knowing they can never know what I know. Is this the Black Brotherhood? "Maybe" replies m1. "They're not any 'brothers' of mine..." he muses. A flood of awful thoughts cascade through my mind - processing. Each vision flashes through and I carefully avoid holding onto it. I feel the element of Fire in my skull, annihilating them as they run through. I am nothing if not an excellent trapping mechanism.

I let go of all of the thoughts and just trust the process. It goes smoothly, and soon I find myself standing in the center of a black hole. Millions of stars swirl around us, the epicenter of the galactic core. I am here and I am on Earth, and all of mankind is as reflected in the stars. The great drama plays out, and Heaven is right in front of us...out of reach...for all but the intrepid inner adventurers. One can never be a part of whole universe, of the nature of macrocosm, when neglecting the inner world, the microcosm. The stars don't permit swine, they don't permit dogs. They only want ecstasy of mind. Curtailing all inferior thought, one should seek only that which is worth taking with one in the incorporeal, the only thing that was ever real to stars.

Humans are a transitory species. Will they go out with any style? Possibly, but this world was designed first, and foremost, as a rat trap. There is no kindness for the unfit, the ugly, the nuisances to Mind.

August 04, 2017, 10:01:41 pm
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Re: Worship Now here's the kind of discussion which would just get torn to pieces at a "serious" Satanic forum. *cough* 600 Club *cough*

So it's an interesting discussion. I had a pretty intense sex dream involving some kind of Baphomet character. Really intense, like, I woke up in a sweat and I was absolutely terrified. Second best sex of my life, and it wasn't even real. So while I'm straddling this gorgeous blue goat demon guy, he's like "Tell me you belong to me and I'll let you go." Normally I wouldn't think twice to tell him to fuck off, but this was pretty amazing in that not only did I say "Yes, I belong to you" (and immediately was allowed to orgasm and wake up) I wasn't really put off by the whole dream.

Something about energy signatures, I think, made me stop and contemplate it and not really freak out about it and go try to seek help from Jesus. What I actually did was go on Occultforums.com when it was still around back then, and I went to the Satanism section, where there was a moderator named m1thr0s. I ended up later marrying him and he felt like the same entity in the dream once I met up with him irl.

And later, I found out, he had a reputation for spontaneously turning into a fabulously handsome blue demon thing and scaring the crap out of people, in and out of psychedelics work...

So yeah, go figure. I told him about this and he just chuckled about it and said "Yeah I probably summoned you."

When we worship these archetypes and beings we are really just sort of attending to our own house and our own reflections of macrocosmic consciousness within ourselves, so no harm no foul....

There is No God but Man...

The real trick is being able to let go of those archetypes when you've outgrown them, and if you manage to get one you can fight off, and it keeps coming back, well, that's a champion, you can respect that. Jesus, in general, doesn't hold up to being pushed away very well, which is why Christians are so hysterical about never denying him. If you do it once, you're going to go to Hell, right? Many sects of Christianity believe this. You can never go back, according to them. That tells us a lot about xianity in general.

Bhakti Yoga might interest you, as it ultimately resolves in Atman itself, and thus doesn't conflict with the ideas of the LHP at all. I went through this whole journey myself and have figured out that while we externalize the worship, as long as it all comes back to raising up some part of ourself, it really does no harm.

My husband would never have been able to approach things the way I did and that's fine. We all have different ways of elevating our consciousness, some of us have a very real bicameral mind effect going on, ala Westworld. As long as you know it's you, deep down, there is no real harm in worship practices. But even if you're not there yet, just be aware that it is the reality...I think every *Star* has to get to that point eventually.

August 11, 2017, 08:09:01 am
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Re: Why Materialistic Atheism, and Militant Atheists Fail I would like it if people would stop calling Christianity and Islam "Abrahamic Faiths"

Abraham was a short dark skinned Sumerian from Ur with a bitchy wife  who travelled to Egypt as a delegation from a dying people, and other than inventing monotheism, had very little to do with White and Arab nationalism/population mind control. (Xianity and Islam) or, the grotesque shibboleth that Judaism has become.

Until the time of that jerk who conveniently "found" Deuteronomy in some closet in the temple, Israelites were largely pagan weirdos who worshipped a night-borne desert god of fire and assassins that craved animal flesh - not so unlike Hermes, as a matter of fact.

Don't give them Abraham and don't give them monotheism. If you let them have that, we've already lost, because it is an interesting idea and possibly the only thing we need from these assholes to figure out *us*

There is No God but Man...

August 11, 2017, 11:02:30 am
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Re: How did you come upon the Left-Hand Path? So, when I was 5 I heard this whisper in my ear as I held this piggy bank I had received as a gift - it was some family heirloom. The whisper said "Drop it, do it, do it!" and so I dropped it on the floor, a piece chipped off. My mother heard this and came in and looked and me and started yelling at me irrationally about it. Then the voice said "Tell her the devil made you do it"


Very distinctive voice I didn't really hear this sort of stuff ever again it was just a one time deal. I told her that and she flipped out. She smashed the bank on the floor, I think she was upset about some thing or another...

She doesn't remember it today but it stuck with me, especially considering I had no idea what the devil was...we were Hindu at the time, she had converted from Witchcraft of the Thelemic/New Aeon hybrid variety.

August 19, 2017, 08:18:32 pm
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Re: Ningishzidda As usual, pure bliss and indescribable ecstasy filters in through my body. I open my eyes and everything appears through a different lense. Someone else is seeing through my vision.

The night before, I had caught a black scorpion type creature in my bed, it was large, the size of a lobster, with many legs like a lobster. Crustaceans show up in much of the tarot, mostly in the Water suite. This wasn't really scary. I have moments of sadness and pain, but they pass so quickly. My life is saturated with irrational bliss. The beautiful rooms and lands I am invited to are new to me. I love them all. Where do they exist? I struggle to find the right word. Aethyr? Etheric? Not astral. Astral is something else. I think I may need to structure a word for use. Pretty sure Regardie uses Etheric. Yet the Ether theory has long since been abandoned so it seems ill-suited to the true Body of Light phenomenon to pair it with something so outdated, old-fashioned, plain wrong.

I'll have to think of something.

I drew the Prince of Staves today, then I walked a couple of miles to the grocery store. The closest one! It wasn't so bad.

August 19, 2017, 08:20:54 pm
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